An Ordinary Woman With Many Simple Questions
What is it to be me? What makes me different from any other woman on the planet? Sure, I have different finger prints, my eyes change colour depending on the light reflecting off them, my teeth can not be matched… But I am sure there are plenty of women on the Earth who have medium brown hair, olive skin, blue (ish) eyes and are about five foot six inches tall.
I’m sure my partner would tell you that I am unique and completely lovable… As he should tell you! My mother would probably tell you I am the most beautiful woman inside and out, ever to walk this land… Again, as she should! Isn’t it funny, how others are so eager to tell us how unique we are, but on the inside we’re constantly telling ourselves, ‘there’s nothing special about me’!
Maybe you will be the better judge. Maybe you can answer my questions and I warn you I have many. Many, many questions haze up my mind, making my world unclear… The funny thing is, no one seems to expect me to have such deep and meaningful thoughts… I often wonder why! Does everyone think I am dim? Or do they just think because I am a mum, all I want to talk about is my child? Or do they think as I never went to university, I can’t have anything important to say? I wonder if you ask yourself so many questions… I wonder if you lie in bed at night debating politics, religion, mathematical statistics, or simply whether you acted as a good wife that day? Did you care for your children in a respectable fashion, never loosing your temper? Did you tender to your husbands desires? Did you put on your make up and straighten your hair? Did you cook the most delicious three course meal? Did you further your career? Isn’t it amazing the stresses that media, relationships, religion and worst of all ourselves put onto women or more specifically wives and mothers? I’m constantly doubting my abilities as a woman. I will happily own up to that fact right now. I have a young daughter, who I love with all my heart! I have a husband, who I cherish dearly! But, a bad nights sleep, no energy to make myself look good and wear heels around the house… Can’t be arsed to put a ribbon in my hair! Can’t be arsed to make sure I eat, let alone whether my husband gets a three course meal when he comes home! I can’t even be arsed to read a gossip magazine, never mind studying towards a better career! Do you feel like this too? Or is that one of the things that makes me unique? I find it very hard to believe that I am the only woman in the world encountering these types of crises. I can’t be the only one who struggles sometimes with a heavy load and I know others have a much heavier load than I!
Sure, there are women who have that incredible ability to do everything on the list above and more! Gosh I do wish I could be them from time to time…. But wouldn’t that boring? Wouldn’t men surely hate to live with a female robot? Sure they struggle with our hormonal mood swings, our crazy fetish for chocolate at 11pm, or the fact that we get unusual headaches at the worst of times… But surely we have that little sparkle, that quirky giggle, that completely free attitude after a glass or two of wine, or the fact that we are so comfortably sexy in our mans’ oversized t-shirts in the morning? I do try to remind myself after a bad day that I am loved because I am different and that I don’t try to be something that I am not.
My daughter just cried on cue, bringing me back to earth. I am not a journalist, I am not a freelance writer, although the idea does sound rather exciting and romantic…. I’m sure they too have those terrible days when they wish they could just stay in bed and let someone else take over their life that day! I often wonder, will my daughter end up like me? Will she share the same burdens? Or will peoples perceptions change? Will people accept issues and difficulties, rather than crossing the street because their best friend who just lost her husband was walking there? I find it crazy when someone trips or tells you bad news we say “oh dear”, as if we are telling them “get over it already” even when it’s just literally happened. People from other cultures tend to have a bit more courtesy and respect for that situation, instead of saying “oh dear”, they say “sorry”. It’s not that it was their fault but they feel genuinely sorry that the situation happened to that person. I for one would love to live in a more understanding community. Wouldn’t you?
I’m sure my ramblings are making you depressed or bored. But I do not mean to cause such! I merely am trying to express some of the thoughts and questions in my head and however it seems, I am not depressed. I am genuinely happy and love my life and all the people in it. I just have many questions and don’t believe that things are as simple as they look. I don’t believe that women are all comfortable with what is expected of them. I don’t believe that our culture and society is functioning as it should,
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