Thread: so confused about my mess of a life and im 14? a rant.?

my name is Ritaa. im very overwhelmed. my mom passed away 4 years ago. one of my friends passed away 3 days ago. im very lazy, i procrastinate, am bipolar, have HORRIBLE anxiety (even about little things like making my dad coffee [which im too afraid to do]) and have laways been extremely lazy. i self harm and have trust issues. my dad is 85 and im worried about losing him too (he cant do much by himself). my brother ive always been close to has left for work on the other side of the country, and my sister, with whom ive become very distant is 19 and ready to move out. i dont know how to do anything right! (like cleaning. im too scared to even attempt to use our washing machine for fear ill screw up, so i hand wash my cklothes which takes forever.) i have a horrid fear of judgement, am afraid to ask for help from friends and family, im not good at all in school, and my self esteem is in the toilet. how can i organize my life without the support of anyone else? no one cares and i need to get my life in order. i no longer have the chance to enjoy being a kid with even all of my worries taken care of. my only lifeline is music. helpp? im just soooooo lost in this mess!

Some people can't take care of their mental problems by themselves. You need a doctor. 'You need medication.You need a counselor. You might even need to spend time in a psychiatric ward. I hope you have insurance.

First of all, calm down.

Second of all, take comfort in knowing you're not alone. Everyone I know has issues dealing with the problems they face. However, you are in a pretty pickle. You're 14 and your dad is 85? He had you when he was 71? That's all on him and your mother. That's a crappy way to bring a child into the world.

No disrespect to your parents but that is crappy if true.

Is there anyone above your sister? Is it just you and her and your 85 year old dad? That's pretty crappy if that's the case.

I'm just throwing this out there. You can file for emancipation from your dad. This way you can go into a foster home or something. I'm just not comfortable with a 14 year old taking care of an 85 year old. Your life might be better with foster parents.

Is there no one ahead of your sister. Is it just you TWO?

You could try looking to your favorite musical artist for some positive inspiration.