I feel so insecure... do you mind if i vent?

[LemonBean]

Okay SO, lately i've just been having a really hard time.
School has been a disaster, I'm way in over my head with two AP classes and a ridiculous math class to boot. I'm also president of a club which i didn't think was going to be too much work, but on top of everything else is killing me. Usually, i would describe myself as an extremely laid back, very relaxed person... but lately i've found myself buried under 57 feet of stress.
Then i have my adorable, friends. I've never had a best friend, but my close-knit group us 10 are inseparable. I respect that they are all unique and have their own lives and stress... but all they do is complain, and it's really wearing me down. I am the Dr.Phil of the group, and everyone always comes to me with their problems, and i really love being there for them... but it would be nice if they returned the favor. hahaha
School sucks.
My friends (i love them) but they suck.
DECA is loads of work.
and i'm feeling very insecure about the way I look..
I'm 5'4 and 140 pounds which i know isn't OVERWEIGHT... but it's pretty darn close.
I always feel so chubby. My friends all seem to be thinner than me, and are all incredibly beautiful. I always feel like the ugly duckling when i am with them and am self conscious like noo otherr.

and now we have a school dance coming up, and i'm going with all of my beautiful friends, so i'm going to be the loser who can't dance. like always.


Sorry you had to listen to me complain about these stupid things... i doubt anyone even read this though.

but if there's anyone out there, do you want to know a secret?!
I want to kill myself.

Now you know something that no one IN THE WORLD knows!
and you can feel special. =]
hahaha

[djadul]

Stop right there.
You're having a rough time. The key? Say No. It's the hardest skill ANYONE HAS TO LEARN. Step down from the club. Ask your guidance counselor about transferring out of one of the classes that's killing your time. Tell your friends you've taken up salsa dancing twice a week, and that's why you are unavailble (okay, not exactly NO, but it's sweeter and it's better when you have a bunch of buds), you have NO best friend, but YOU have to pick out someone whom you like in your bunch of friends and trust, and spill this out to them...and then take them for a test drive. If you are disappointed, you've got a few others to pick from, right? And don't forget: your parents. Whomever you are closest to... talk to mom or dad or brother or sister or cousin. Call them. Write them. Spill it. Don't carry it all on your shoulders. It's NOT worth it and it's ALL FIXABLE. It's totally in YOUR HANDS to control this and you CAN DO IT. Good luck.

[chicagovigilante]

It's hard living with feelings like that...I know. But trust me, you are a good person and your life is valuable. People love you, even if it's hard to see right now.

I was a really shy, insecure guy in high school. I didn't go to a high school dance until senior prom. People change a lot during high school, and they usually change for the better. As people become more mature they'll be better friends. What you have control over is your own behavior. Trust me, if you are as mature as you sound, then guys will appreciate you as they become wiser.

[chiple]

well I hope after this venting u feel less stressed... Don't feel insecure, being thin isn't always beautiful... And I know this is going to sound like such a cliché but its whats inside that counts u might feel chubby and not so pretty but sounds like your a great girl helping your friends when u can barely carry your load is pretty darn beautiful. Confidence can go further than looks. Go to the dance and even if u don't dance try to feel confident and comfortable (because being uncomfortable comes off as awkward) Hope this helps! Good luck!

[missylou02]

hey, i read that whole thing. and i can relate. AP classes suck, but you have to think of the future right? Anyway, if you don't want to be the 'ugly duckling' at this dance, tell your friends you dont want to go. and about your weight and everything...if you're really that insecure, join a sport instead of clubs. i play soccer and i know it keeps me in really good shape, and i make a lot of friends that love me for me that way too. don't do anything drastic, just try and be optimistic, although i know it's really hard. good luck in life.

[zack]

Yeah life is hard, I hope this made you feel better.
I am in a similar situation with the workload, and instead of adorable friends I'm at a new school, so I have to start all over with making adorable friends. To be honest I wish I was in your situation, but nonetheless I sympathize with you.
Wow venting does help.

[mIKnowAllm]

cry on my shoulder....


and remember, tomorrow only brings hope....