Register

If this is your first visit, please click the Sign Up now button to begin the process of creating your account so you can begin posting on our forums! The Sign Up process will only take up about a minute of two of your time.

Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Linked In Flickr Watch us on YouTube Google+
Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    Junior Member TheVet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    18
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Screams in the Darkness?

    "Oh god, oh god, oh god...."

    "Shhh," his finger pressed against her lips.

    Shrieks pierced the night. Their hearts beat out of their chests and they slung their heads back and forth trying to figure out the origin of the terror.

    She said, "What is it?"

    "Shhh." The rustling leaves were louder, closer, more rhythmic.

    "Oh god," she started to hyperventilate, "what the hell is it?"

    He laid across her and put his hand over her mouth. She squealed, and wriggled but he just applied more pressure, "Shut your mouth!"

    The rustling stopped. They could hear something breathing. He pointed to a shadow where condensation was forming on the tent. Her eyes bulged, and the tent ripped open.

    This is about bunnies at a overnight petting zoo. A very cute, cuddly story for children about the proper treatment of animals. I'm just not sure the tone is right....

    What do you think?

  2. #2
    Member firefly's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    46
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    No, no...the tone is just right. This story sounds perfectly "cute" and "cuddly" as is.

    And perhaps this will get the idea through to children. This story will be the epitome of tough love. Children need to learn the hard way that bunnies are simply not to be messed with. Is anyone else thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail...?

    Thanks for the laugh, Vet!

    Best wishes!


Similar Threads

  1. Horrible screams, in the darkness of the night, from under your bed? What is it?
    By Princess Alexandra in forum Rant-Whine-Complain-Vent
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-01-2009, 02:05 AM
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-20-2008, 11:31 PM
  3. i need to learn more screams(i know how to do cat screams and scream like the dude
    By Sesshomaru (reborn) in forum Rant-Whine-Complain-Vent
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-05-2008, 01:20 AM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-25-2008, 06:29 PM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-02-2007, 08:36 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:15 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5
Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.