"Oh god, oh god, oh god...."
"Shhh," his finger pressed against her lips.
Shrieks pierced the night. Their hearts beat out of their chests and they slung their heads back and forth trying to figure out the origin of the terror.
She said, "What is it?"
"Shhh." The rustling leaves were louder, closer, more rhythmic.
"Oh god," she started to hyperventilate, "what the hell is it?"
He laid across her and put his hand over her mouth. She squealed, and wriggled but he just applied more pressure, "Shut your mouth!"
The rustling stopped. They could hear something breathing. He pointed to a shadow where condensation was forming on the tent. Her eyes bulged, and the tent ripped open.
This is about bunnies at a overnight petting zoo. A very cute, cuddly story for children about the proper treatment of animals. I'm just not sure the tone is right....
What do you think?
Bookmarks