Thread: Screaming, read if you dare.....Your opinions please?

I could hear the screams.
I put my hands over my ears
Pretending not to hear, or
Rather not to know what was
Taking place; but I saw it, I knew
What was happening as my body
Went into a fetal position, wanting,
Wanting to be in the womb
Where nothing happens; hands
Floating free , but my hands were
Were not free, and my head was not
Free; the screams, the wailing of
Mothers crying long ago mixed with
The screams of agony, but I hear them still;
My hands cannot extinguish what is
Etched in my mind, hearing it, and
Seeing it. Only I could hear them, I alone;

And in my womb, I thanked God
The ones I loved could not, and
Would not know, or would never hear
What I hear; that terrible noise. And to
My loved ones, I am a normal person.
A good actor.
It's about war to clear up things up.

i hate poetry

it is so pretentious

i am sorry, but all poetry sucks.

talent writes stories.

Cool! It's nice to get away from the "heartbreak" poems and read about an otherwise tormented person.

"extinguish what is etched in my mind" -- what is this? Are we mixing metaphors with cliches? Don't do that. You can improve this. You could try extinguishing flames, but not etches.

I like the transformation in voice at the end. "A good actor." Kinda sarcastic. You could actually use this motif at the beginning, if you wish, to lend it more power. You have done this with the "womb" theme and it works nicely.

Great poem!

good