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  1. #1
    Junior Member baby_bella_girl101's Avatar
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    Screaming on The Inside?

    Hi,

    I need advice on how to chill out. Seriously, it's something I really can't do.

    I'm 15, and a sophomore in high school. I have a younger brother who is in 8th grade and is 13. My Dad's out of state, and he is staying there(as far as we know) for his job, for the rest of his and our lives. Mom's not around that much because that's just how she is, so my brother Mark and I are being raised by our grandparents. (My Dad's parents- my Mom's side of the family wants nothing to do with my Mom or us. They never have, even before we came along).

    I'm in the scholar's program at school, and take all scholar classes, however scholar Algebra II really sucks. I got too big for my britches, and decided to take it. See, what I wanted was to double up and take Geometry, and Algebra II both in the same school year. I told the guidance counselor that if that was not possible that I needed Geometry first, but instead they did it exactly the opposite way and gave me Algebra. I tried getting out of it, but it's impossible. I fail test constantly, but I do great with my homework. I'm worried about my Algebra mid-term because I currently have a C, and had a C last quarter, and the mid-term is worth 20% of my current grade.

    I am misunderstood a lot, and often go unheard, I guess because I don't make things known enough around my house, either that or no one bothers to listen. I think the real reason that I am misunderstood is because there is no one in my family willing to help my grandparents out with ANYTHING. They are both retirees, and in there mid to late 60s. My grandfather has heart disease and diabetes. He is on insulin.

    This weekend my younger brother wanted to re-do his room, so my grandparents helped him do it. My brother called my Mom several times- no answer. But, they tore his room apart, carried, I'd estimate a 20-40 pound TV stand down a flight of stairs, and disassembled it to keep the good wood. My brother helped. They moved his dresser and his 10 gallon fish tank around, as well as his desk, and some other things.

    Then, they took the Christmas decorations down the other day again by themselves, this time without help from anyone. (My bro was at school, and I'm not much use.)

    I came home from school on Friday, and said "I'm staying after school on Monday to audition for the school musical." "Ok" they said. Yet, they didn't take what I had to say into account when helping my brother. My house is still as semi-mess.

    My friend Destiney and I aren't friends anymore. My friend Jen likes my former tutor Matt.

    So, she's like "Are you mad that I like him?" I said "No, of course not. Matt and I are just friends, I think he may have a girlfriend, but we don't like each other that way anyway. "

    If I was mad , I wasn't going to say it to her face, that was for sure.

    So, later on that day, Destiney and I were texting each other, and she's like "What do you think about Jen liking Matt?" I said "It's fine, Matt and I already had a discussion that he and I are better off being friends only, and that was before Jen said that she liked him. Matt's a great guy, and if she can make this work, then more power to her."

    She said "If she can make it work?"

    I said "Yeah, after what she did to Mike, and a few others she really hasn't been able to maintain a relationship with a boy."
    She said "That was Mike's fault that they broke up."
    I said "I disagree."

    She said "Why?"

    I said "Cause Jen is bi. She was going out with Mike for more than two months and started going out with a girl while she was still with him, the week after their two month anniversary, and she just goes up to him and asks "Is this okay with you?" I know that I'd react like Mike did- not knowing how to handle it or what to say, and since he didn't seem to do much of anything immediately after she told him, she said F*** you. We're done. Whatever." and you know that because she told us herself that that is what she said. I hope if her and Matt start going out, that they both can avoid getting hurt, but I hope Jen can figure some things out about herself too."

    Destiney said "That's not right Isabel.'' I said "It's just my opinion of it all." She said "Well it's not right." I said "It's my opinion. You can disagree with it, but I'm entitled to my own opinion." Destiney got angry with me, and forwarded all of my text messages to Jen, adding lies to them, turning Jen against me.


    So then there's that mess, and then problems with my own bf who doesn't know if he's gay, or bi. He's got rough circumstances, and attempted suicide a few months ago, he drinks sometimes, and he is a smoker. He's 14 and lives with his Mom who is on SSI because she has major back problems and can't work.

    He says that he loves me to death, but he's always up one day and down another, and I'm with him for better and for worse, I stand by him, I may not support all of the decisions he's made, and some he will make,
    -Isabel
    but all I can do is give him support and lead him in the right direction. He needs consistent structure which is what I'm giving him.

    Today I was uploading pictures from the holidays for my gram. (See other question) and it was Hell. I bawled my eyes out for two hours.

    My audition is tomorrow, and I have my monologue memorized, but I am not confident that I will do well.

    I am disabled, and I use crutches, but mainly a wheelchair.

    What can I do to be less stressed, with school, and with life?

  2. #2
    Junior Member Mommyofalmost4t's Avatar
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    I had a very similiar past to yours..it's like I was reading my old diary of my life....I started running and writing...and haven't stopped since.This blog or whatever you want to call it very therapautic for stress. Try to ignore the ignorant moron comments though. I know that your drive to have a better life will get you through and make your stronger. Hold on sweetheart, this scary crazy ride of yours IS going to change. =)


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