Thread: Parents argue and shout, making me choose?

Long story short my parents' lives together are over. My life is horrible since theyve been doing this for the past year. It makes me really sad because I feel if i wasnt here, their lives would be solved. Dad wants to move to the other side of England to his brother. while my mum wants to move to a completely other part of england to her boyfriend. but i have to stay here because of my school.

They told me to decide who i want to live with, meaning which ever one i choose would have to stay with me here and throw away what they really want: a new life.

It makes me really sad and it makes me cry, because i dont think a 15 year old should go through this, on top of school and just life in general.

What do i do?
And it means its another holiday ruined because of the fighting and stuff.
plus today i hear my father shouting really badly at my mum, then heard my mother crying and crying. ive never heard mum cry this much. its unbelievable how much i want all this to end
i feel like im the one thats made this happen. if i was never here they could go their own ways and be happy. but im holding one of them back.

sorry this is long but i really need help.
who would i choose to be with, and how do i deal with this?
no. i only have my mum and dad. thats what makes it even more terrible. my parents were the only 2 people i hade since i was a baby. if i dont have them..i dont know what i would do
i cant move schools now. my education at this school is really important :S

No child should go through this. Honestly I'd choose your Mom simply because, if she's going through this with your dad the last thing she needs to do is hop into a new house with a new guy, that's not a healthy or a safe thing to do and in the long run could help her out. If her BF cares for her, he'll understand and wait the short time until you're out of school for them to move in together or he can move to where you guys are.

Now for your parents. What needs to be done will be hard, but next chance you get, when things are calm and they are not in the middle of fighting, sit them down to talk with them. Make sure you write your thoughts out, or if you cannot speak it to them, write them both a letter and give it to them.

Explain to them how they are making you feel right now. Tell them all the dark stuff, how you wish you didn't exist because they are making you feel like it's all your fault that their lives are ruined because they are "stuck with you". (BTW: this is not the truth. It is NOT your fault, it is their fault. They are being cruel and selfish, and sadly, this happens because even parents are human and make big mistakes and act stupid on occasion. You are not holding back their happiness or ruining their life. As your parents, YOU are their life. Until you become an adult and can care for yourself, you are their only priority.) Pour out your heart to them. Explain that you know that they are not happy with each-other anymore and that it's okay with you, you understand, but for your sake they do need to learn to get along and let go of the pain because it's tearing you apart. Ask them to love you more than they hate each-other, because that's what you need, their love and support right now in a time in your life when you are most vulnerable. Bring up about how the fights make you feel. How hearing the crying and screaming makes you feel and that you wish they would stop and make a stronger effort to talk to each-other without all the drama. And lastly, explain to them that you love them both equally and it hurts you immensely because they make you feel guilty for loving the other and that is not how it should be.

I wish you the best of luck. I've been there and I can say, life will and can get better if you want it to. You must stay strong and learn from this. Learn that this is not what you want in your life and work hard for the other side of it. However, if you wallow in it, it will swallow you whole and your life will only get worse. It's all in your outlook and what you choose in your own life. ^_^

Well I'm sorry you are going through this emotional mess!
A 15 year shouldn't have to be in the middle of a nasty break-up, but on the other hand you ARE old enough to decide who you want to live with.
The choice is yours - who do you get along with better?
Can you visit the other parent when they split up?
Do you have a grandparent or aunt or uncle you can talk this over with?
I hope this all works out for you.
Take care!!

Why don't you choose to be with the one you love the most, and that understands you the best?

That way you two could maybe work out something, like going to England every summer/vacation, or transferring schools, etc.

It's not your fault. At all.

Your parents are putting you through a horrible situation that they themselves caused.

I truly hope that all ends well.