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  1. #1
    Junior Member numom's Avatar
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    my son is 2 days from being 4 mths. he sceams when he awakes and he screams until

    you pick him up.suggestions? my relatives say he is spoiled because when I pick him up he stops crying immediately-that I should let him cry to break out of the habit. This is easier said then done-but i do delay may response to actually picking him up but I stay next to him and hold his hand to let him know I am there(he screams with his eyes closed) surprisingly he cried less for two days. then my husband started carrying him everywhere again and giving in immediately, so now i am afraid i am 1.sending mixed messages to my son and 2.going to have a difficult toddler if we continue on this path3.going to be labeled the "bad cop" while my husband just holds him and plays with him when comes home from work. he doesn't bathe or put or son to bed or feed him. my son is breastfed. please help!!!!

  2. #2
    Junior Member A_McShay's Avatar
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    Pick him up then, go talk to him! He is trying to say, " CHANGE MY DIAPER, IT IS WET AND COLD!" He just wants his mommy love that's all

  3. #3
    Junior Member mamaposs's Avatar
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    You can not 'spoil' a baby! Young babies are not able to be trained and experts recommend babies under 6 months should not be left to cry at all. When your son cries, he is communicating a need and he needs to know that you will respond to his needs. Some babies are happy to be on the floor or in thier cots some of the time, while others seem to want to be held constantly. This is largely due to the temperament of the baby. Don't let your relatives make you feel guilty for giving your son the nurture he needs.

  4. #4
    Junior Member MissKitty's Avatar
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    "My son is 2 days from being 4 mths. he sceams when he awakes and he screams until you pick him up. Suggestions?"

    Here's my suggestion: pick him up.

    Tell your relatives to step off. You can't spoil a newborn. You want to teach your infant that the world is a secure place, that help will come when he needs it. Time for the critical relatives to go home.

  5. #5
    Junior Member ezza1982's Avatar
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    The moment he stops crying for a second (even for a breath) then go in to him. Never go into him when he is screaming for you. Stick it out and wait a bit longer the next day. keep strong and remember that you are the mum and that makes you the boss. As for your husband remember your the boss (i mean that in a nice way). Don't worry about being the bad cop just ask your husband for help at bath times and then slowly take a step back from it all until one day he is doing it all by himself and hasn't even realised what has happened

  6. #6
    Junior Member Dylan&Sydney'sMama's Avatar
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    He's only four months old. You can hardly speculate what kind of toddler he's going to be at this point. Every baby is different. My son used to hang out in his crib forever and just jibber jabber to himself until I heard him. He would stay in that crib forever if I let him. My daughter is a little less patient and will 'talk to herself' for a few minutes before she starts screaming at me to go get her. Every baby has his/her own personality and I don't think a four month old is mature enough to learn a lesson about being patient. Just get him when he cries and give him what he needs.

  7. #7
    Junior Member rainwriterm's Avatar
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    Difficult toddlers are the result of babies who never learned to trust that their parents would take care of them. As babies, they would cry, scream, and "throw fits", but Mom was too worried about giving in and spoiling them, so now they have absolutely no idea that Mom is going to take care of them. They have no security, so they become terrible toddlers. It seems backwards, but it's not, I promise. The more you try to let him "just deal" with his feelings and not comfort him, the more needy he will become.

    If it makes you feel any better, fussiness generally peaks between 2-4 months old. That means that, generally speaking, he should be reaching his peak fussy period, and then will start to level back down again.

    Remember that generations of genetic programming have ingrained in your little baby the need for him to be near you. His instincts tell him that if he isn't with you he is going to starve, freeze, or be eaten by wild animals. You know he is perfectly safe in his swing or playing on the floor, but he doesn't.


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