Thread: I need help! why are we arguing so much?! :(?

My boyfriend and i have been together for 10 months and for the last month we have been arguing 2 or 3 times a week and just recently its turned into everyday. I love him so much and i know he feels the same about me. When i annoy him he turns cold and sarcy and rude and its hard to get him out of it and just have a calm talk so the argument normally lasts 2 or 3 days while i wait for him to calm down. we then see eachother and it all seems amazing again and then the next day we will be arguing again. its over such stupid things it really annoys me but everytime we try and talk about it we just dont end up getting to the bottom of it and it just happens again. i love him and breaking up is not an option. is this just a phase? will we work through it? how can i make it better? im stubborn and wont back down easily and nor will he. im currently trying the whole lets take a break thing but all i want to do is go and see him and fix it. but i know the next day we will just be fighting again. i hate it, it makes me feel horrible and upset. i dont know what to do anymore any advice to stop this stupid bickering please!

Is this a phase? No.

Until you get to the root of your arguments this will continue happening, it won't just go away.

You even mention here that every time you try to talk about it, you DON'T get to the bottom of it, and it keeps happening. Well, I'm going to tell you right now that these fights are going to be the demise of your relationship unless you get to the bottom of the issues.

You state that you have fights over stupid things. Why are you arguing? When you're in a relationship both people need to learn to pick and choose their battles. 95% of the time, the stuff you get annoyed over and start a fight over, is not worth the fight. Sometimes you need to bite your tongue and move on. If you guys keep dwelling over the stupid things, and fighting every day of every week, it only shows what a weak foundation you guys have.

You both need to learn how to communicate without arguing. I used to be like you, I would flip out over the stupidest sht and then wonder why my relationships never worked out. Instead of talking like a civil person I would get angry, throw fits and just be ridiculous.

I've been with my current boyfriend over two years now. We have NEVER had one fight. But I'm 27. Do you know how long it took for me to learn how to get my point across without fighting? Without arguing? Fighting does not strengthen a relationship. It weakens it until it just collapses. Believe me my boyfriend and I have been through tremendous ups and downs, but... no fighting.

Both of your stubborn personalities are not good. You both need to drop the ego's you have. Being stubborn is not attractive, and it's not a quality trait to have. Until you both realize that being stubborn isn't a GOOD thing, the sooner you guys could possibly resolve this. You both need to back up, open your ears and listen to the other person. As you probably know, if you have opinions and he has opinions, just shouting them back and forth at each other does nothing.

Perhaps you guys are just not compatible on that level. Some people despite being in love, are just not compatible in a relationship. If you just keep butting heads, that's unhealthy, and if it can't change, then you need to just end it. I think you're both highly immature and that's why you're both unable to get over yourselves to back down and just listen to each other.