Thread: i need advice. why do people feel the need to control other peoples lives *not...

...a rant*? my best friend of 9 years and i kind of got into a little tiff. not a big fight or arguement, but she always seems to have something negative to say about everything i do. she says she doesnt like people i hang out with [who she's never met], what i wear, what i do, what i say. she complains about everything and gets mad if i dont listen to her commands...but if i acted anything like they way she does, she wont have it.

so why do people feel like they have the right to be that way, but get mad if its done right back to them? i know some stuff is just because she probably worries, but i dont like her complaining about small things like what i wear. i wear jeans and shirts and sweaters, and she dresses all goth/emo and i dont tell her what to wear. any advice on what i should do? i calmly told her she's too controlling, so she didnt feel like i was attacking her, but is there more i can do? we just seem to butt heads a lot lately, but she's my best friend so i want to handle this carefully...

its funny that im a gemini and she's aquarius, because it says these can be the best of friends but i dont REALLY believe in that stuff lol we really are polar opposites in almost everyway, but its always seemed to work for us before. we've never had a big fight or had a small fight that lasted more than 2 days, but this one worries me... =[

Some times people are like that because they're spoilt. I asked a question like that because a girl did the same thing to me alot. It's your life not hers. Just don't do what she says if you don't want to. Prove to her she's not the boss of you.
Good luck!

Hi from France

Usually people does that because they have inferiority complexes and that makes them very insecure !! To control other people allows to them escape this so ... They are mentally weak because of that too ..

Have a nice day,

Cat.

ARGH! Rant alert!

Because it's human nature.

Dump Her. She is Not a Best friend, but a Best "Enemy". Tell her you already HAVE a MOTHER. You don't need another one. Tell her to Back Off, or Get Out.

My sisters and my mom complain to me like that almost all the time too. They're the ones closest to me. What I'm trying to say here is that, she can easily complain to you because she knows her trivial complaints won't easily destroy your relationship. She trusts that it's ok for you to listen to her opinions. She trusts that it's ok if she gets honest with you and not too polite. I'm not saying that it's a good thing. Not a bad thing between friends either.

Show her you're upset about her behavior, see how she'd respond. If she really cares, she'll talk to you about why you're upset. By then, you'll have the chance to explain to her what's making you upset. If she's a true friend, she'll try to change. Don't expect too much though, a habit's not that easy to break overnight. Just remind her about your deal every time she does it again.