Thread: He constantly complains about feeling bad?

You can't help a person who doesn't want help. It sounds like he wants sympathy, not help. When he complains about feeling bad, just briefly remind him he knows what to do to correct the situation, then change the subject. If he survives his first heart attack or stroke, he'll begin to take better care of himself. BTW, why is he 2500 miles away from you, and why are you not with him? And, was he this way before you married him, and if so, why did you marry him? Do you know what an enabler is? Are you one?

My Husband is constantly saying he feels poor. If it isn't his allergies, it is his heartburn. If it isn't his ulcer, it is his headache. Or an upset tummy. There is always something wrong with him. He is sat at a computer all day...he doesn't get much exercise. And he does stupid things (like eating bread when he knows it just bloats him). Here is the thing...he is older, 54. And he is 2500 miles away from me. He will not listen to me...he won't go to the doctor, when he says his chest is hurting. He has high BP. He eats too much, even at night when he is supposed to stop eating because of his GERD. There is nothing I can do, but his constant complaining is a downer, and worries me. Anyone else have a spouse like this? How do you put up with it? When he is with me, I do things like move the bread basket to my side of the table when we are out for dinner. But with the distance, I have no way to help him.
The reason why he is so far away is a very long story that I don't want to bore anyone with.

What is the payoff for him? There has to be a reason he does this, as it "works" for him!! Sympathy?? Depression?

why is he that far away from you