I have been dating someone (we're both in our early 40s) for 1-1/2 years. When we have disagreements or relationship problems, he talks to his sister and mother. I can appreciate that they have a close relationship, I think that's wonderful, BUT he only presents one side of the story. I feel it's very biased and part of our relationship issues have been that he does not accept responsibility for his part of what isn't working.

I accept my part and when I talk to my friends, I really try to be balanced and see things from his point of view. I'm usually asking my friends for what am I not seeing. It is approached from a spirit that my BF Is a good person, so there's something in the dynamic that I'm missing. I feel like he presents only his side, it is not balanced, and what is left is his mother and sister having a negative impression of me because they have been told his side. I specifically DO NOT vent to my family be issues I am having with my BF are OUR private issues and it serves no purpose for my family to hear only my side and therefore see him negatively.

We saw a therapist together today and I was shocked at how one-sided, partial truths, and left out context was conveyed from him when discussing things that happened. I am very close to walking away from this relationship, I am so frustrated. He is a very good person but we have issues and unless two people are willing to take responsibility for what we each contribute to the dynamic, the relationship will not work.

1) Do you tell your family (or close friends) details of problems you are having with your significant other? How do you manage those you confide in, so they don't feel bad about the other person?

2) He says his family isn't judging but how could they not when all they have heard are his half-truths? He wants to "fix" things. What would you do in my situation regarding my BF's family?


Thanks.
When we talk about things, we hear one another's point of view hence my belief we can work through things. What I am frustrated and hurt about is he has vented to his family but then does not go back and tell them MY side or say he was at fault for anything. I also just found out he has been sharing my emails with him when I was upset with his sister. That feels completely disrespectful and a violation of the trust and confidence I had in sharing my intimate thoughts with HIM, NOT his sister!