Thread: arguing,name calling,isolate himself....HELP!!?

I've been with my boyfriend for about five months,at first we were very happy,we used to have fun together.However,he did have certain things that concerned me,but i tried overlooking it because i thought his good over weighed his bad.

lately we don't seem to be getting along,it seems as everything i say or do he either says i am complaining,i am too much stress for him,he'd rather be by his-self.He'd say stuff like..maybe i don't need to be with anyone,another example..if i want to be held or kissed, that makes me baby-ish or a weak person.It makes me feel like a stranger,sometimes i don't even want to approach him with silly questions because i try to avoid stupid arguments and hearing negative things about myself. Once he even said he hates coming home to me f**ing idiot,stupid a$$,cry baby kid...i guess kid because i am younger than him. I keep telling him i am different and won't handle things the way he would.
At first i thought i was really falling for him,but after his ignorance,bad mood,arguments and name calling i am holding back my feelings and it makes me very uncomfortable,and i don't know how to approach him without getting into another argument.

I need some advice...please..

..... hmm.

Well... this sounds to me, i'm sorry to say, like the beginnings of many abusive relationships.

I think you should tell him straight up that the way he's been acting has been hurtful and confusing for you, and that if he doesn't shape up, you won't be able to maintain a relationship with him. It might sound harsh, but laying out your boundaries and wants very clearly is important.

A lot of women don't want to do this because they don't see it necessary maybe, or don't want to hurt their partner, who may already be in pain. A lot of times though, those partners can use that pain to make you feel that way so you both become completely dependent on each other. And that's never very fun at all.

If he wants to argue with you, just tell him that you can't talk to him until he's ready to talk to you like a normal person, without getting all fired up.

Sometimes it's a good idea to have a "mediator" with you -- someone you're both friends with who will just watch you both talk. This can help you both feel supported, and if someone gets angry, it can be good for there to be someone else there to calm them down, or to even just witness it happening for future reference.

You could also just break up with him if he doesn't accept any of this. You being upset by it probably isn't worth it right now. It kind of sounds like he's just acting a like a big baby.

lol lose the guy, he obviously doesn't know how to treat you. I was in a bad relationship with a girl, ended it and now I'm the happiest guy ever. Just because you ended up together doesn't mean he's the one for you. Like you've heard, plenty of fish in the sea. Find the one you're happy with and is happy with you. Good luck.