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Level: -INF [ ] | I am a cancer man (Caucasian) and feel an uncanny connection with a Taurus woman (Asian American) I work with. She is amazing and has given me signs of interest, but not 100% sure. This connection goes past just sharing favorite colors. We have crossed paths before somehow, or she came pass my life now for some reason. Still figuring out the connection, but hard to put my finger on it, but never have I felt such a strong connection with someone before, (but this is not my first Rodeo with Taurus women. I did have some friends, more-than-friends types in college). Like when you meet a new friend, and after a couple times talking and you feel like you know so much more about them then they have told you or how should you know that, that type of connection multiplied by 10000000!
The huge, huge deliema is I am married. I am married to a Virgo, and I do love her and didn't enter into the marriage to get divorced. For the entire relationship with my wife there has been unbelievable love, great sex in the first half, but also has been trying, and very difficult moments that we have lived through. We have not had sex in over 3 years. Virgo and Cancer are compatible, but must watch ones tongue, both parties. We are not getting along at the moment and for the past forever, we fight every weekend, usually about stupid stupid things.
Here is the story. I have been married for 4 years; lived together for 6 years, meet 8 years ago. My wife is non-American and was married and had a child from a previous marriage. We meet abroad (I was travelling), she was separated, and her daughter lived with her. We hit it off immediately and didn’t even speak the same language. She asked for a divorce from her first husband, went smoothly due to no problems with ex (actually we are friends also), I know the daughter well (my stepdaughter), and she moved here to USA to be with me, best decision for all parties and we made it together. Mostly due to my income and job, was better than trying to get an equivalent job in the country she lived and which I meet her. She left her daughter with ex husband and came to live with me here. She went to school to finish up English and we got married. Bought a house, cars, talk about our dreams, and goals and make plans together to get them-the American Family Dream. I have been growing and becoming a better person, and have changed to help make the relationship work. For example, I use to go out with my friends and drink, go to the bar,etc. and gave all that up because she hated it. I don’t have any friends, my family is far away, and not sure if I am in love with her or not. I love her, have affection, don’t want to see her upset or hurt, breaks my heart. I care the most for this woman than anyone else in the world. I would die for my wife! But at a moment now, today, that I still would die for her, but not sure if we are able to make it through much more of our battles. I have been determined to make it work, but with some of the words being vomited out lately, don’t know if I can take it.
This past April I lost my job and found new employment in May, lucky! My wife and I were not getting along that great at this moment either. I am laid back and knew I would find a job again fast, she was extremely worried and complained a lot of what I was doing when I was not working but looking. After a couple months of working at my new job, I made some friends with the others around my age. I also have a side project that I mentioned to this woman at work one day in talking, and for a few weeks she would always ask me to show her this project. This woman is the Taurus woman at work, and she is 7 years younger than me. At first I had just a harmless crush because she was new and fun to be around, but not like I was going to run away with her. She saw the project and wanted in right away. Part of the system of this project is mentoring and field training. I have been spending time with her one on one with training, but the training leads to talking and getting to know one another, by asking her a lot of questions! She is open to me for a light touch on the arms or shoulders, she sits really close to me, and I will test the waters by having my hand “slip” and touch her leg/arm briefly and act like a accident, she doesn’t flinch or move away, and she might make a witty comment back and we both laugh. I am fishing to see if she likes me. Most recently she wanted to show me pictures of her family, mom, dad, brother, sister, cousins and stuff. She explained the personality of her father, and how her mother is just like her, and it would be interesting if we meet! Then she wanted to see pictures of me, all on facebook. So I showed her pictures of me and she made comments on them, some affectionate other funny! Also, I feel uncomfortable talk about my wife to her. I also noticed could be coincidence, but she looks uncomfortable and squirm in her seat when I do talk about my wife.
I am not a super stud, or a player or cheater. If this were to progress with the Taurus woman, I would have to be honest with her and respect her highly. I do not want to cheat on my wife with her, what type of man that makes me look to the Taurus and my wife. I am still buying my time to see if there is true reciprocity. I understand Taurus take time, and how many will take their time and wait for a married man? Also, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, I am holding my wife tightly in my right hand, and the Taurus woman is resting in my left hand. But I can’t have both being held tightly, if I hold the Taurus I must open my hand holding my wife, and at that moment, she WILL fly away. If the Taurus woman wants to fly away at that time or later, then I have not birds in my hand, and all the ones in the bush saw this and will not be good.
Being a Cancer and having a keen sense of being a visionary, the future looks better with the Taurus. Never married, intelligent, beautiful, so charismatic, and no children. I love children and have always wanted one of my own if all is possible. (This is another area of difficulty with my current wife, she already had a child, and she tells me I would be a bad father?) Taurus is still in her 20s and fertile. (Unfortunately my wife has condition that she might not be able to berth anymore, and I am extremely sympathetic to her for this. I am not thinking about leaving my wife because she might not be fertile anymore.) The Taurus woman has already been challenging me and we are just talking the past 2-3 weeks. I am more enthusiastic to come to work and see her, can’t wait for the moments we can be together 1:1 working, talking, anything to get to know her more.
If the Taurus woman likes me and shows me, then do I leave my wife? Heartbroken to leave my wife
If the Taurus woman likes me and shows me, then do I not get with her? Heartbroken not be with her
I will be heartbroken either way, and someone I care about deeply (both women) one of them will be heartbroken too.
This is my first attempt at opening up about this, as no one knows. |
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