I'm in my Junior year of high school, allegedly the hardest year I'll ever have before college. The thing is, though...I don't care? When my friends are all stressing about GPA's and AP's, I nonchalantly tell them that I don't really care what college I go to, if I even go to college. It's hard to describe...

...could this be related to my depression, or some sort of self-esteem deficiency?

That's the thing, though, I'm not happy. It's like things are just going by, with nothing I do having any influence on them. I've thought about suicide quite a bit too.