Thread: Why is my future mother in law unwilling to accept my fiance's decisions?

some mothers simply think nobody is good enough for there "baby."its also a way for some people to have a power trip because there life just simply sucks.you just need to live your life and cut her off.when she sees how well you are doing dont expect a change of hart,it might get worse,but stand your ground.maybe someday,you can have a normal realationship with her but now is not the time.

My fiance's mother has been very difficult from the beginning of our relationship. She has always hoped we would break up and has never been willing to give me a fair chance. Shes very controlling and we can never make her happy. She never tells me when she has a problem with me but tells everyone else including my fiance and even insults me to him. She has even vocalized that she doesnt think we will last. Now she is really upset because she found out that instead of me taking his last name he will be taking mine. We know this is against tradition but 1. we could care less about tradition and 2. there are no males to carry on my family name and 3. i honestly feel that it is one of the few connection that i have left to my family since i dont get to see them very often. My fiance has his fathers last name but her hasnt seen him in 13 years nor does he have any relationship to him or want to. His mom remarried and cant stand the guy. We also both grew up being the odd ones out in our families. I was the only one with my last name in my house because my mom had me before she was with my step dad and my sisters after and my fiance and his brother were the only ones in his house with their last name. So its important to us that we have family solidarity when we have kids. So he decided why not just take mine? They are both kind of long and hyphenating would just be kind of awkward. But his mom is flipping out about it. Even called him in tears threating not to come to the wedding and neither will the rest of the family. And said that if he does it i will not be allowed in her house again and she wouldnt acknowledge our children as her relation. I think that it is because the weddiing is getting close and she has always hoped that it wouldnt really happen that she is just grasping for anything at this point to cause conflict. They are from a very small town and are not very open minded. Anythign they dont understand they call stupid. She also admited to him that she didnt want us together at first because im black. She told him she got over it but i have never thought that she did. She has never accepted me and treats me really badly. I personaly don't care if she comes or not but my fiance is really hurt that she is acting this way. And im angry that she would put him in a position of having to chose. Im done trying to make her like me but i hate to see him hurting i don't know what to do.
Im am especially interested in male opinions on this.