I'm 17 years old, and I've been beat up my whole life..Bullied..I've been beaten by mobs following me home (I don't think threesies is a real word), and I've been beat up by a mob on the bus..And in confusion, a lot of people on the bus joined in on kicking me down to the ground and beating on me, becuase they didn't know what was going on. Some kid tripped me, so I shoved him. Then his friend hit me, and this chain started..I just thought I'd mention that..I've been beat up my whole life..I thought it'd clarify things better.

Anyways, last night I had a dream that I was in the boys bathroom at my current school (I'm at this school that I spent years trying to get into, to avoid being bullied or beat up). Then these guys came into the bathroom and saw me..Then for no reason, they started picking on me, and calling me names.
I tried to get out of the bathroom, then one of the guys just threw me against the wall, and I hit my head really hard (the "hard" that makes your eyes tear up). One guy proceeded to punch my face into the ground..
The bathroom floor was covered in urine, and dirt that I can't describe..But they kept kicking me, and I started getting drenched in the urine..They continued beating me until my nose was bleeding..
I was wondering how I would change my clothes..And then they just left..

I lied there in the pool of urine, and I didn't cry..Instead, I just felt myself begin to shake..I felt angry, and then the feeling turned from anger..To total fear. Because when I clenched my fist, a swarm of memories, or flashbacks swam through my mind..Flashbacks of real life beatings, flashbacks of me threatening to kill people, me threatening my old school a long time ago..Then for some reason..I found myself in the principals office, where he was giving me advice on how to deal with bullying..It was a very depressing conversation that had to do with his marriage, and personal life, entwined with mine..Then, I left his office, and I remember having these thoughts in my dream..Maybe it was a voice, maybe it was mine..I don't know..But it said
"..I'm sick of this sh*t. I hate this place..I hate people..I wish everyone was dead"

Jesus Christ...It's scary to even think about..I haven't had a nightmare about my beatings since 2008.

I don't have those aggressive thoughts anymore...I dealt with them in the way way past..
Seriously, I'd never hurt a person ever..Mostly, because I'm scared.

What message does this dream bring?..

I tried telling my friends at school about this dream...They didn't really listen, I don't think..
All they said was
"That's not a dream. That's a nightmare."
Also, at the end..I saw myself sitting on my bed wide eyed..

I didn't get much sleep..
I'm kinda scared now...