Thread: Tiger Woods is the real Messiah and here are the prophecies to prove it?

Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Obviously this passage refers to Tiger’s wildness off the tee as a youth.

Isaiah 11:8 “And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp.”

A snake hole and a golf hole are about the same size, aren’t they? Plus, we are quite certain that there were snakes somewhere on the first course Tiger played.

Jeremiah 28:13 “Thus saith the LORD; Thou hast broken the yokes of wood; but thou shalt make for them yokes of iron.”

It is apparently not just coincidence that Tiger came around right as golf switched from wooden woods to metal woods.

Psalm 89:32 “Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.”

Tiger, with his stripes, punishes his opponents with his clubs.

Psalm 31:4 "Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge."

Tiger is an excellent bunker player.

Revelations 12:5 “And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron.”

Here the scriptures predict how Tiger, at a young age, will dominate the world with his irons.

Isaiah 10:15 “as if the rod should shake itself against them that lift it up, or as if the staff should lift up itself, as if it were no wood.”

Isaiah is obviously writing of the ease with which Tiger swings the club, almost like it swings itself.

Isaiah 11:5 “But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.”

Here he refers to Tiger taking divots and predicts Tiger will fight evil with words from his rather large lips.

Zachariah 8:4 “Thus saith the Lord of hosts: There shall yet old and old women dwell in the streets, and every man with his staff in his hand through multitude of days. And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls, playing in the streets therof.”

This scripture foretells the increase in popularity of golf due to Tiger’s emergence, especially among inner city youths.

Isaiah 42:16 “I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them and crooked things straight.”

Ezekiel 12:12 "The prince among them will put his things on his shoulder at dusk and leave, and a hole will be dug in the wall for him to go through. He will cover his face so that he cannot see the land."

Zachariah 14:6 “There shall be one day, which is known to the Lord, not day nor night; and in the time of the evening there shall be light.”

These passages are obvious references to Tiger’s final hole at the 2000 NEC Invitational where he hit his second shot to within two feet in complete darkness and the gallery spontaneously lit his way with cigarette lighters.

Isaiah 63:2 “Wherefore art thou red in thine apparel, and thy garments like him that treadeth in the winefat?”

Nahun 2:3 “The shield of his mighty men is made red, the valiant men are in scarlet.”

Jeremiah 4:30 “thou clothest thyself with scarlet”

Daniel 5:7 “shall be clothed with scarlet, and have a chain of gold about his neck, and shall be the third ruler in the kingdom.”

Now we understand why Tiger wears Red on Sundays (and yes, he used to wear a gold chain and, behind Bobby Jones and Jack Nicklaus, could be considered the third ruler of the golf kingdom).

Isaiah 41:2-5 “He shall rule over kings. He shall give them as the dust to his sword, as stubble driven by the wind, to his bow. He shall pursue them, he shall pass in peace, no path shall appear after his feet.”

Tiger has already largely fulfilled this prophecy (just ask the “King” Arnold Palmer), and may complete it when he switches from metal spikes to spikeless golf shoes.

Isaiah 41:11 “Behold all that fight against thee shall be confounded and ashamed, they shall be as nothing, and the men shall perish that strive against him.”

Isaiah 43:20 “The beast of the field shall glorify me;”

Isaiah 52:13-14 “he shall be exalted, and extolled, and shall be exceedingly high. As many have been astonished at thee,”

Jeremiah 46:15 “Why are thy valiant men come to nothing? They stood not, because the Lord hath overthrown them.”

Isaiah and Jeremiah apparently understood how demoralizing Tiger’s domination would be to his opponents.

Jeremiah 10:6 “There is none like to thee, O Lord: thou art great, and great is thy name in might.”

We already know how GREAT Tiger is, but did you know that his name spelled backwards in Latin (Regit) means “he reigns.”

Isaiah 11:6 “the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.”

Isaiah 53:5 “with his stripes we are healed.”

Luke 12:48 “But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto
Frog this is no more stupid then the hundreds of prophecies Christians try and pin on Jesus.

You sir, win the internet.

And Chuck Norris is the Father, and Tiger is his only begotten Son.

I'm sorry to be so blunt...but this is just plain stupid.