...the backround information. ? sorry if its long, i want you to get the backround information to really understand.

I was in eighth grade and I was at a basketball game with my best friend, Hannah. We were sitting behind all the junior and seniors, trying to be cool when Hannah is like isn't that boy hot, although he wasnt hot, he wasnt ugly either. shes like look at his boxers, those are so sexy. For the next ten minutes we debated weather or not it was his boxers or a undershirt. For the next few months I acted like i had a crush on this boy, although he was about four years older then me. Midway through summer when I was at my grandparents house, my friend Hannah myspaced me saying that Rick (the guy at the basketball game with the "boxers.") had a girlfriend. I wrote her back pretending to be sad, although both of us knew it was a joke.
I didnt really think much of it until i became a freshman and he was a senior. when i saw him in the hallway i would always be like hey ricky, just to get a laugh about it. later I found a note on my locker asking from Ricky asking me to homecoming. I just thought it was a joke his friends were playing on me. I blew it off. He started messaging me on myspace, then we started talking, and i developed a crush on him. A few months into my freshman year we started dating. I loved him, and now about two years later I still think I do.
He was turing 18 and he said that there was to big of a age difference for him. (I just turned 14.) It was also hard for us to hang out becasue of my mom did not approve. I spent about one amazing month with him. And those are some of my funnest days. we never fought or anything, it really did seem like the perfect realtionship. He siad that he hoped we'd last for a long time.

after we broke he cut off all communication with me. blocked me on aim, purpousally took a differnt route in the school then what he would normally take, and didnt respond to my calls or messages. I was very hurt, I felt horrible, and for a while I was very angry at myself. We broke up in December, and in June I decided to start dating again, I got a new boyfriend, Wade. Wade was only a little younger then Ricky. Although me and Wade were together longer, I didnt feel like I loved him. We ended up breaking up after about two months. I still felt attached to Ricky throughout the realtionship, and I still loved him. It didnt take me long to get over Wade. After me and Wade broke up, Ricky messaged me saying that he was sorry, and that he now knows that cutting off communitcation was mean, and he felt bad. Of course I forgave him. After that converstation we didnt talk much. he would occastionally message me or I would message him, asking how each other were doing. Nothing to serious though.

it seemed like every time i forgot about him, he would remind me that hes there, by showing up at some place I would be. I recently just saw him at a party, it was awkward at first but then we started talking. It was the first time we talked in person sience the break up. I really still do miss him.


I think about him a lot. and i was just wondering what you gusy think? does all of this mean something? like that 2 years after we've broken up and i still feel the same way as i did when we were going out, even stronger feelings for him. do you think theres hope for us? or have i just wasted two years of my life? I just think its wierd that all of that happened, before i even knew anything about him. like at the basketball game and stuff.
please tell me what you think?