Is it wrong to think about the future already?

[amanda]

I've only been with my partner for four months but thoughts about our future are popping up already. I love him more than I thought was possible. The other night he said something along the lines of "I don't plan on losing you and I want to spend my life with you" so I know I'm not the only one thinking these thoughts.We've both been in 2+ year long relationships with other people, so we're not love struck teenagers. We're in college, have jobs, and are overall mature people.

Is wrong to begin thinking about spending your life with someone after such a short amount of time? How long before you and your partner got serious?

Marriage is not in the cards right now, not for another 2 or 3 years at the least (if we are still together then).

[Irish]

I feel like if you know you know. So, I wouldn't say it's too early. I was in a year+ relationship (almost two years) and couldn't picture anything with the person without feeling a huge void. I also didn't start to picture anything until the 1 year mark. With my current boyfriend, four months hit and I've planned MY entire wedding. Whether or not he's in it is up to him, but of course I can think about the future with him and never get that same void. I really do just know.

[SandraL]

I dont think there is anything wrong with thinking about it, but its best to be reasonable and not get engaged or make a maojor decicion anytime soon. Your still in the honeymoon phase where everything still seems perfect and like it can last forever. my bf and i are about to make 3 years soon and even now we are learning a lot about one another and maturing as a couple. There is no sepcific dating time that will guarantee success or not, but i think the more you know about one another, the better. So be happy that you found someone that you can see yourself living with and loving always, but still take it slow. If anything just hang out and laugh and make good memories together, because eventually something will come along and it will test your relationship and you need these good times to get you through the bad.

[SandraL]

I dont think there is anything wrong with thinking about it, but its best to be reasonable and not get engaged or make a maojor decicion anytime soon. Your still in the honeymoon phase where everything still seems perfect and like it can last forever. my bf and i are about to make 3 years soon and even now we are learning a lot about one another and maturing as a couple. There is no sepcific dating time that will guarantee success or not, but i think the more you know about one another, the better. So be happy that you found someone that you can see yourself living with and loving always, but still take it slow. If anything just hang out and laugh and make good memories together, because eventually something will come along and it will test your relationship and you need these good times to get you through the bad.

[Legandivori]

Enjoy!

[ShiphrahK]

I think that's normal. And I think it's a sign of maturity to think about long term commitment.

I think it would be a mistake to get married immediately! But I think it's perfectly healthy to talk about what you want in the future, and how you imagine your life together. And maybe in a year or so if you still feel the same way you could start living together to see how that works out.

By all means talk, fantasize, imagine and hope. Just don't take things too fast. If your love is going to last, then there's no need to rush into anything. And I think love is more likely to last when people take things slowly.

(I knew the day I met my partner that I wanted to marry him. I didn't tell him at that point! It was probably about six months before we talked about our future as a couple, and we were together more than a year before we got engaged.)

Good luck!

[StrwbrryFieldsForever]

I met derek 8/25/08. we officially started dating 9/3/08. he and I discussed marriage/made a list of our future kids names in october. were still together. I'm 19 and he's 21.

[bear11288]

It's not wrong at all, it's just the way you feel.