Should I humor my parents and have a Jewish wedding even though I'm atheist?

[CuriousEm]

They just keep making a big fuss about it. I mean, it's all the same in the end, right?

[NZVERITAS]

Would you want to start a marriage with a lie?

I planned to have a non religious wedding we had a family friend who was a vicar stand in when the celebrant pulled out (they got called in to service). We agreed no god references in it except he wanted to bless the rings. He made 7 references to jesus or god during the ceremony. My uncle came up to me afterwards and asked if my wife was a Jesus freak (his words) because he knew I would not want that. I explained that what had happened.

Even though I am only34 I have my funeral already written so that this will not happen again.

[mmmm]

This is the most important day in your life (so far) and your husbands. Don't start you lives off together by subjecting yourselves to other people. You do what you want. Whether you have a religious ceremony or not it can still be beautiful and you need to make your parents realize that. It's you and your husband now, not you and your parents. And even though your atheist I think you'll agree with the Bible verse that says a man leaves his mother and father for his wife. Don't let them make you feel guilty for doing what you want on your wedding day. If you give in to them and don't get the wedding you want you'll regret it for the rest of your life- Trust me I know first hand. And I've been married 5 years and I still regret not getting the wedding I wanted

[CrazyPirate]

hey, the poor guys needs the first and last time to put his foot down on something as a married man!

[StorkRadioecom]

In Judiasm, this isn't an either / or proposition. Judiasm is a culture as well as a religious tradition.


You should talk to the Rabbi about your concerns. Try to find a Reconstructionist Rabbi if you can - they have a lot of new age / alternative services that you can customize so the ceremony can fit your beliefs and hold on to your families cultural tradition. I've been to a few and they've been quite beautiful. Keep the discussion open, and I think you'll end up at a ceremony that really fits you. Good luck (or Mazel Tov.. take your pick!)

[UnfathomablyboredeYaawn]

I'm an atheist despite having Hindu parents, so I guess I can relate somewhat.

I would say, yes. It doesn't hurt to exercise your cultural inheritance from your parents once in a while.

Even if you have lost faith in that culture, you should probably respect their views. After all, they are the people who created you and raised you through the years, whether it was easy or not. They aren't asking you to change your views, they're only asking you to stick to a tradition that's been established for ages.

As long as a Jewish wedding doesn't have any other implications that I'm unaware of, if your parents are only asking for a traditional wedding and not a change of personal belief, I say go with it.

The best part of your day will still be the same
And Congratulations =p

[StainlessSteelRat]

Does your soon to be husband know that you are an atheist? How does he feel about having a Jewish wedding? There are too many questions here for me to give you a straight answer. Maybe you could elope and go to Las Vegas. That would really upset them.

[Lux]

You have to ask yourself what you really want. Of course you want your parents to enjoy your wedding but at the same time you're their daughter. I'm sure they love you and wish to see you happy especially on your special day regardless.

If you have different ideas tell them, you should all sit down and talk about it. Let them help you with some of the plans if you want but in the end make sure you're making you happy on your day. Have you talked to your fiance about it? Pillow talk can result in the perfect answers, or at least assist in pointing you in the right direction.

And congratulations!