...have to be mad? Racist future mother-in-law asked me a few days ago to forgive her for her past actions, which included her saying she wouldn't come to my bridal shower because it was going to be "too black" and demanded to know if the wedding would only consist of "black traditions." That is only the tip of the iceberg. She has also made comments where she hinted she might have a problem loving future grandkids cause they wouldn't look like "HER" side of the family and they may be too dark to be in future family photos. FH is disgusted by his mother's behavior and does not condone it. I have decided after talking with FH and my family, who refuse to have anything to do with FMIL or even be in the same room with her, that I will not forgive FMIL. I just don't have it in me to do so. Her words cut too deep and the wounds are still fresh. Everytime I look at her, I think of what she has said and the pain she has caused me and my family. What kind of daughter, sister, etc would I be to forgive someone who has insulted my family so? How could I look myself in the mirror if I were to forgive this woman? I feel strongly that FMIL will keep spouting racist things if I forgive her and she has done nothing to deserve or earn my forgiveness. I cannot just forgive her because she wants it. I don't feel she is sorry. I told FMIL this and she got upset, saying that I have no right to hold a grudge and who am I to judge her and keep her from her son? She says I am far from perfect and I should be ashamed. She needs to reap what she has sown. There are consequences to what she has done and now she is getting them and deserves them. FH and I have disinvited her to the wedding. What choice did we have?