This is going to a bit long, so I apologise for that.

This past month, I've been having dreams that leave me depressed, distant and disoriented. Now, I should mention that I'm currently being treated for depression and anxiety disorders and am on medication, but I stopped taking them (without telling my therapist) because they were making me feel horrid. I've recently started taking several at a time when I get the urge to.

Now on to these dreams. These dreams usually take place in a place that I'm familiar with, such as my home, school, town, etc. But these places don't look the same. I know where I am most of the time, but the places look completely different in my dreams. I see people -male- in these dream that I automatically feel close to. I feel like I've known these people all my life, but in reality, most of them are complete strangers.

In one of my dreams, it was a guy I used to be close to until last year. He was pale, had white hair, and a very slim figure in my dream, but in real life he's tan, has dark hair and a thicker body. But somehow I knew who he was. In another dream I was with another guy I know -his appearance was blurry, but I'm sure he looked the same- and I was in a place I didn't recognize but it felt like it was familiar.

In my most recent dreams, I've been seeing the same guy in the same place. I can't ever remember what the guy looks like after I wake up, but it's like his face is somewhere in the back of my mind. I know what he looks like when I'm dreaming, but I couldn't describe him if someone asked. In one of my dreams with this guy, I was in a building across from where I met up him. I lived in this building with several other girls but I hated it there. It was a depressing place. I was free to leave whenever I wanted (seeing as how I went to visit him sometimes), but I felt something holding me back, not letting me leave.

I don't really know how to explain any of my dreams. They're all with people I know or think I know and in places that feel really familiar but aren't. There is always some sort of connection I feel with these people but I feel sad and lost in the dreams. When I wake up I feel this overwhelming feeling come over me. It makes me feel wanted but it makes me feel so alone and sad. I don't understand.


What is going on? These dreams make me miserable but they're the only things I look forward to everyday. I feel happy and sad at the same time right before I go to bed. Can someone maybe explain to me what is happening and/or what these dreams mean and why I'm having them and feeling the way I feel?

Thanks.