Thread: how do you tell someone you aren't ready to get married but you want to in the

future? my man asked me to marry him but i dont want to get marry till i finish medical school cause that my main priority right now i just dont know how to tell him that without hurting him

I went through this as well, when my boyfriend asked me to marry him but I felt I needed to finish getting my university degree and teaching certificate first. You just have to be honest with him and have an open discussion about the issue. Me and my boyfriend have spent many hours fantasizing our wedding and our life together, and sometimes it is hard to wait so long...but we just remind ourselves it is only a couple of years before we have everything that we've been wanting with eachother. It hurts to hear someone reject your proposal, but you need to reassure him that he is the man you want to marry in a few years, but as of now you just aren't ready. You two are going to end up in a long and deep talk about it, so just be as honest as you can be, and you two will hopefully find a resolution that makes you both happy.

I went through this as well, when my boyfriend asked me to marry him but I felt I needed to finish getting my university degree and teaching certificate first. You just have to be honest with him and have an open discussion about the issue. Me and my boyfriend have spent many hours fantasizing our wedding and our life together, and sometimes it is hard to wait so long...but we just remind ourselves it is only a couple of years before we have everything that we've been wanting with eachother. It hurts to hear someone reject your proposal, but you need to reassure him that he is the man you want to marry in a few years, but as of now you just aren't ready. You two are going to end up in a long and deep talk about it, so just be as honest as you can be, and you two will hopefully find a resolution that makes you both happy.

Just tell him ' no at this time. I want to finish medical school first as it is my main priority'. Just realize that he may move on.

Just spit it out. Be honest. If your career is your top priority, then say that. Isn't it hurtful to leave someone waiting without an honest explanation? He should be free to know the truth & decide what he wants to do about it. If he isn't ok with waiting until your schooling, internship, & residency is done... then he may want to find somebody else who isn't so career-focused. Isn't that fair to him to know what your expectations are?

I would just be honest and tell him the way you feel. You can tell him that you would like to get married but once you are done with school. So you aren't saying no, just not right now. Besides, you could just have a long engagement until then!

Good luck!

Just tell him that!

If you plan on marrying him you could consider just getting engaged and having a long engagement before your marriage. Lots of couples do that. I was engaged for 5 years while I completed by doctorate. My fiance and I had to sit down and talk it out. He understood why I wanted to wait, and so we did. In his mind it did not matter what date our wedding was, the fact that I would marry him was good enough.

"I love you and I DO want to marry you and I'm excited to do so. Let's plan to marry in X years, when I finish medical school, so that I can devote the proper attention to our wedding and our marriage."

Just tell him. If he loves you, he will understand

Also - there is nothing wrong with saying yes with the condition that you won't actually get married until you finish school. You could just have a very long engagement.

"i dont want to get marry till i finish medical school cause that my main priority right now"