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  1. #1
    Member Rosemary's Avatar
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    How do I get my boyfriend to tell me what he sees in our future?

    We're leaving to different colleges at the end of the summer. Both of us really don't want to break up. But that's all I know from his point of view.

    I want to try the long-distance relationship. Maybe it's stupid, but frankly, I don't care. I love the guy and for once in my life I trust someone completely. I don't want to lose him.

    But how do I gently bring the subject up? He's rather timid and I don't want to swamp him with my emotion or accidentally guilt him into doing something he doesn't want to....


    How do I get him to talk to me about what he feels and what he wants?

  2. #2
    Junior Member molllll93's Avatar
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    Just sit down and ask him. Ask him to be honest with you. If he seems uncomfortable make sure you tell him your not wanting him to decide right then. x

  3. #3
    Junior Member mariekitt24's Avatar
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    I dont think there really is a gentle way to bring it up, it really shouldnt be a big deal to talk about. He's a big boy and he should be able to handle talking about big people things. you're going to torture yourselves trying a long distance relationship.. I can tell you from experience they dont work unless they are only temporary. and by temporary, I dont mean years. being a long distance away from eachother makes you incompatible in a way. I understand you love him, and if its thats true, one of you needs to close the gap and go to the same school, or at least one close by. If he is that important to you, then thats what you're gonna have to do to keep him.
    If you need to learn more about basic communication skills as far as talking to guys in a way they will listen, "men are from mars and women are from venus" by dr john grey is an awesome book that I recommend to everybody. It saves relationships.

    and you know, even if you guys dont work out, you will find love again. there are many many people on this earth that we can get along with and learn to love and trust. He is not the only one. Maybe it would be easier on you guys to just break up and find new loves. they are out there.

    Best of luck to you both.

  4. #4
    Junior Member snowbunny's Avatar
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    "how long do you think we will be together?"
    while u are snuggling on the couch and look up at him lovingly
    tell him the truth about how u are scared for school and u dont wanna lose him. but say u understand

    u seem like an honest girl so just be honest with him but dont pressure him

  5. #5
    Junior Member ttAnswerchampiontt's Avatar
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    Just ask him.

  6. #6
    Junior Member Nuts's Avatar
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    You really think it's going to work out when your at different colleges? Haha,..just wait until you see what the atmosphere on campus is like!

  7. #7
    Junior Member teacher_chick's Avatar
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    I've had this exact thing happen me....he was moving away for uni and I was staying and going to uni at home. In the end, we decided to give it a go long distance....after 4 weeks I went to visit him and when I got home I thought, cool, everything seems to be working great but then out of nowhere, he texted me and said he wasn't in love with me anymore....I was devastated and after talking it through, he decided that becasue this was the first time he'd felt that way that he'd give it another try.....2 weeks later, he said he didn't know what he was thinking but that he WAS in love with me and I didn't have to worry about himdoing that to me again. Then he was home for Christmas for 5 weeks and we honestly had the BEST christmas ever together....then he went back to uni and a week later I got a TEXT MESSAGE saying pretty much what he'd said the last time that he wasn't in love with me anymore,,,,he then wouldn't answer my calls and as I was meant to be going to visit him the following week, I went ahead but booked somewhere else to stay and MADE him do it to my face....he said some pretty horrible stuff to me like I'd been a huge waste of time etc and he wished I'd just let him break it off before he even left for uni (thing is he never mentionedbreaking up). That was 5 years ago and he still doesn't speak to me when I happen to see him....thing is, I'm a much stronger person for it and he's the one making himself look silly by being so horrible. I know that was a HUGE longwinded story there but what I'm trying to say is, be careful what you do here. The one thing I always found myself wishing I'd done was to break it off before he left but leave things that when he was home, we could still see eachother but while he was away we wouldn't have to be exclusive.....just think seriously about what you should do....remember you'll both be meeting lots of new people and after being apart, the two of you may realise you aren't right for eachother. good luck


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