FH and I have agreed to split all holidays with our families until we have our own kids. This year, Thanksgiving is with my folks and Xmas is with his. There is no mixing of the families. Each family gets us exclusively for whatever holiday we spend with them. We don't combine holidays with our families. FH's family is in Georgia and mine in Pennsylvania. This year, FMIL has been dropping anvils about wanting to crash my family's celebration and quite frankly, I don't want here there. We don't get on, my family doesn't like her either and that would mean she gets us for both holidays and that is not fair. Plus she has plenty of family and friends, including her daughter and other son. I talked to FH about this and he said he will talk to his siblings about having her over. I also told him that I could tell her no as well.

I am entitled to just having holiday time with just MY family without FMIL. That is not wrong. She will not be at every holiday with us, so she better get used to it! Things have changed. She is wrong for forcing herself on my family and our celebration. I am under no obligation to invite her. We will see her at Xmas and frankly that is too much for me.