Thread: future monster in law! My boyfriends mother is paying for a flight for him to

come visit her in tulsa? I have met my future in laws. Twice. once in feb and the other in Oct. for his sisters wedding. The first time i met them his mom said i didnt talk enough. Now she wants to spend time with him with and declined inviting me to come so she can show him around a law school in their hometown of tulsa. He says this is ok that his mom wants to see him but she never calls him but once every 2 weeks. We also live together and he has never told him mom about how serious our relationship is. She doesnt think i need to be there for this trip for him to visit the college and look around, although i would be moving 5 hours away and quitting my job, am i wrong for being super pissed?
Also we have been dating for about a year and a half.
I am 27 and he is 26
i have made the effort of going up there twice, and when they (his mom, dad and sis) to go wedding dress shopping, he didnt want me to go with them. he wanted to go hang out by himself. how am i supposed to have one on one time with them if the only time i see them is when tons of people are around?

sorry when they came down here to visit he didnt want me to hang out with them.

Your approaching this situation negatively! She's not being a monster in law, she just wants to spend some time with her adult son. Yes, the move will affect you too, but maybe there are somethings going on with her or their family that he is not aware of and she wants to talk to him alone. Your post is unclear whether he has visited without you, but if he hasn't and has taken you along o the last two trips...he and his family deserve some family time too.

Why not take this opportunity to spend some time with your own family or friends while he's away. Sometimes we get so caught up in a relationship that we forget/don't have time to do things like this.

Just relax, let him enjoy his vacation and spend quality time with his Mom. When you bring someone home with you, you spend A lot of time and energy worrying about making sure they are entertained and feeling included that you don't end up spending your vacation as you hoped to.

No you are not wrong for being mad. But on the other hand you need to express to your boyfriend that you want him to explain to his parents the relationship you two have. You are moving away and are going to be closer to his mother and father.

I would give him this time alone so he can talk with them by himself and tell him that you are coming with him. They need to accept you for who you are. You are going to be closer but they need to invite you since you may be apart of the family one day.

Your not wrong. He needs to speak up and let his mom know how serious the relationship is. His mom does not know the whole story. If you 2 are moving together then you need to see what it is like as well.
I would put more effort into getting to know her. Don't call her a monster in law when you 2 have not spent enough time together or chit chatted. With my mom in law I call her, I send her Christmas presents, flowers for her bday and mothers day. It takes work to build a good relationship and you two don't know one another. Turn this into something positive especially for your guys sake.

It is time to speak up.

I wouldn't say you're wrong for feeling the way you do, but I also don't think your boyfriend's mother is wrong either. How old are the two of you? If you're young, she probably doesn't think he needs to be so serious with a girl. My in laws would never have paid for me to fly somewhere with their son when we were just dating. I think if you feel the need to go, you need to talk with your boyfriend and tell him that you want to come. Make sure you can pay for your own flight since his mother is not obligated to pay for you. And if you are staying at his parents' house, follow their rules. If they don't want you sleeping in the same room, don't throw a fit. Neither my parents nor my in laws would have allowed my husband and me to sleep in the same room at their house until we were married.

I wouldn't say you're wrong for feeling the way you do, but I also don't think your boyfriend's mother is wrong either. How old are the two of you? If you're young, she probably doesn't think he needs to be so serious with a girl. My in laws would never have paid for me to fly somewhere with their son when we were just dating. I think if you feel the need to go, you need to talk with your boyfriend and tell him that you want to come. Make sure you can pay for your own flight since his mother is not obligated to pay for you. And if you are staying at his parents' house, follow their rules. If they don't want you sleeping in the same room, don't throw a fit. Neither my parents nor my in laws would have allowed my husband and me to sleep in the same room at their house until we were married.

You are wrong to be pissed at her. She is acting accordingly since your boyfriend has failed to tell her how close your relationship is. This is all his fault. She wants to spend time with her son. It is not a holiday where you have been singled out. It is not a couples situation. Let him go alone. Not a big deal.

You are wrong to be pissed at her. She is acting accordingly since your boyfriend has failed to tell her how close your relationship is. This is all his fault. She wants to spend time with her son. It is not a holiday where you have been singled out. It is not a couples situation. Let him go alone. Not a big deal.