Jesus, this morning I wake up, $2000 richer thanks to the casino. But still, I wake up and see half of my Windows Live list of friends, including 3 virgins and 2 "Lost cause nerds" got laid last night.

Seriously, my biggest problem? I need more virgin friends so I don't feel like I'm missing that much.

Or... Hey wait... I got $2000? I can BUY sex :O

Uhhh, still, is there just a conspiracy going on or something?
BTW, I was in the casino, so yes, I am a legal adult. In case you didn't figure that out yet, hence my problem.