Dilemma

[westjm26]

I have a dileofftopic. I am studying petroleum engineering. I will make good money if I graduate, but I am miserable where I live now.

The thing is that I live in a very small city and there ain't really any places I can go to have fun. I spend alot of my time in front of the computer. I think that it makes me miserable that I spend so much time in front of the computer, but I can't really go anywhere to have fun. It feels like I am in a freaking prison.

I think that I kind of have tried to sabotage my own studys lately. I will be kicked out from the university if I fail in enough subjects. However I got my grades back today and I didn't fail enought to be kicked out.

I have a girlfriend. She moved after me to this place even though I told her not to. I like cuddeling with her. she is nice.. but I think I got a different view on live than her. She wants to grow old..buy a house.. make some kids... and just rotten away. We usually go to the cinemas and stuff like that and I hate that. I think it is so ****ing boring. she is beautiful but she is boring to be with.

I talked to a friend of me about this. He sugjested that I should move back to the place I lived before. I would really like that. He even offered to help me. I have had problems with eating properly and sleeping the last year and suddenly I had an apatiete again. It was like my life had a purpose again.

I will probably get a good future, If I stay in this hell hole and I graduate in a couple of years. My familie expects it from me. But I feel horrible. I hate mylife right now and I am not the kind of person that usually wine.

I might make a good future for myself if I move to and I really want to do it. I would loose alot of money considering the time and money I have used to study petroleum. It would break my girlfriends hearth if I moved, but I am breaking my own hearth everyday where I am now.

Reasons for not moving:
- I will loose alot of money and resources. Considering all the time I have spent on this + that I will probably not educate myself for anything else that will pay as good as petroleum engineering.

- I will break my girlfriends heart.
- I am afraid of leting go of my life even though I hate it.

Reasons for moving
- I really want to.
- I am depressed right now. I think it will be better if I move.

[shortynumber7]

If you know you can make a better life for yourself after you have graduated from Uni, then why not try and stick it out? To give up a good future because you're a bit miserable now, seems a shame. Trust me, I gave up college, my friends, my home, everything, because I was a bit miserable studying what I was (Marine Plumbing).

Now I see all my old mates have made great futures for themselves and progressed nicely through life....me, on the other hand, have no qualifications to speak of and I'm at risk of redundancy in my current job. After I've lost my job I haven't got a clue what I'll do...and it scares me silly!

Can you get back to where you used to live at weekends/out of term time or something? If you can it might give you some relief from the stress you're facing currently. Speak to your girlfriend, see what she says. Do you think because you're girlfriend is boring that she's holding you back? If so ghet shot of her and try getting back home as often as possible.

[gab]

How much longer do you have left on your studies? If its not long, it may be worth sticking it out and trying to get through. If you've only completed a little of the course can you transfer to another course, maybe at another university?

The biggest problem I see is that you've got no idea what you would like to do instead. Moving back where you were before could be good, could be bad, but either way you don't know what you're going to do when you get there. Any jobs you'd like to do, or anything like that? What is it you actually want to do with your life and what do you think will be changed by moving?

[PinkMay]

Sorry to hear your having problems mate. I would say it could be worth sticking it out for a couple of years. At least at the end of it you'll have a decent qualification and with the economy how it is right now that could mean the difference between being succesful and redundancy. I appreciate though that taking this sort of advice of a 15 year old is kinda wierd.

[northernMNl15]

G'day mate just my humble opinion but if you stick with your course and tell yourself daily that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel and envision the benefits your diploma may grant you, might it not make more bearable the decicion to stay ?

As for your girlfriend what can i say i'm probably the last person who should give advice about the heart just ask any of my Ex's

[GenerB]

First off, it's that time of year north of the equator. It's cold, it's miserable, and if you haven't got anybody that stimulates and loves you you're feeling lonely, unappreciated, and meaningless. I know the feeling because I get it just about every year. It's a product of winter and all the crap things that happen in your life. Looking in from the outside it's really easy for me to say what I'd do. I can tell you, but it will take stomach to get it done. You have to remember that though you love your girl, she's got to make her own decisions, and if she bores you and isn't for you, I guarantee she's making you more miserable, and there's no reason you should be miserable at her expense.

If I was you I would tell her how you feel - that she bores you, that you don't like the things that you do together, and that you aren't happy in your life and need it to change. If your girl is willing to buck up and do what she can to help you get to where you need to go, then your relationship will be that much stronger and you might even like her for real. If she folds up like a marshmallow and can't do anything for you, maybe she isn't right for you at all.

Additionally, if you are really miserable at your school you can do one of two things: find out how you can start enjoying your school by joining clubs, teams, making friends, taking electives you can enjoy, or transfer to another school. Don't even consider dropping out as an option. It's not. You are a young person with a bright future. Don't jeopardize that just because you feel crappy about your life right now. Life is not easy, and sometimes you have to charge through it even though it hurts and it's hard and lonely. You have to take care of yourself. You may be so fortunate that you have a family that will endorse irresponsibility. I personally wasn't. When I was in my late teens and early twenties it was either stay in school full time, or get a job and move out.

The other thing you should do is lift weights, heavy and hard. It gets your hormones flowing and helps get rid of depression. Plus it puts hair on your chest.

So in suofftopicry:

Come clean with your girl or dump her.
Take steps to enjoy your location or transfer.
Lift heavy. Lift hard.

[lehewser]

would you like a job as my personal counseller?