Hey guy/gal reading Gizmodo instead of working: We're hiring a tech writer in NYC. You need some experience, but more importantly you should be able to write like mad and know and love/hate/understand technology. I'm posting again because...

...most of the previous applicants did not apply properly and were summarily added to my "NEVER HIRE" email box. I need more applications.

Responsibilities include:
-Writing morning posts. Fast, thoroughly and creatively.
-Taking meetings with companies. Quickly! More quickly than the PR people want you to!
-Reporting from the field. As fast and perfectly as humanly possible.
-Reviews

Skill as a tech writer needed, meaning fluency in technology discussion over copious amounts of experience. Applicants should have an aptitude for reporting and feature writing and excellent conversational writing tone. Those with natural writing tones tending towards judicious use of fearlessness, relentlessness and wit under duress get extra bonus points. Please — No clowns who insist on writing a joke every sentence. Also required: Physical/mental endurance, ability to take direction to the letter, spot stories early off the beaten path and generate ideas every day, are necessary, too. If you can't take critical feedback and use it to better yourself and the site, do not apply. You need to be as reliable as the sun and the moon. We will put you through the ringer and make you 10x the blogger you wish you were.

Applicants should submit a resume in plain text emails, with a cover letter above it and somewhere in the doc a url to a sample test blog which will be judged for timeliness, quality of writing, tech depth, breadth of topic/angles and general pizazz. (Magic fingers! Chin up!) Write 8 posts on a blog (try wordpress.com). Again, you will be judged on timeliness, so posting old news will cost you points here. Apply at jobs at gizmodo.com with "NYC writer" in the subject line. Do not apply without following these instructions.

Applications that are incomplete or incorrectly filed will be printed out on baby deer skin and incinerated after being laughed at. Applications sent to the wrong email address will be destroyed without being read.

Before applying, I recommend you read this entire post one more time and double check your entry, because I've already deleted 25 emails that failed to follow the instructions.

If the tone of this very intense post doesn't terrify you, you may fit in well. WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME.