Remember little David Seaman? He's the helpful kid who wrote to us a while ago defending his pal Ned Vizzini against charges of assistant-hiring sleaziness, and who capped his email by asking us, "So how would we go about working in a subtle plug for me on Gawker?" Then he went and concocted a fake save Paris Hilton protest. Now he's out with a new proposal for a book called How To Be a Publicity Whore, where he'll presumably share some of the hard-won wisdom that got his first book, The Real Meaning of Life (surely you've heard of it? According to Bookscan, it's sold 4,000 copies!) so much attention. He's going to be giving the advice that people most need to hear: About "how you can make cheap talk and scandal-mongering work for you, whether you have a cause to promote or not." Here's the full, sad pitch letter that's going around town.
I'm delighted to be sending you David Seaman's How to Be a Publicity Whore. It's a hilarious and thoroughly effective guide to whipping up a media frenzy over your cause, your product, or--why not?--yourself. David has appeared on numerous TV and radio programs, including CNN Headline News, CBS Radio News, and 1010 WINS, and has been quoted in countless publications all over the world. His publicity whoring expertise includes starting the faux civic movement "Free Paris Now" and delivering the story to media outlets everywhere, from Access Hollywood and Conan O'Brien to the New York Post and the New Zealand Herald. As the editor of The Real Meaning of Life, he garnered reviews in eight TV and radio segments and more than 35 print and online publications. In How to Be a Publicity Whore, David pulls out all the stops to show you how you can make cheap talk and scandal-mongering work for you, whether you have a cause to promote or not. If you've ever wanted to get on a radio show--or instruct your authors to--David's book will show you just how to do it. Some of his tips include the following: * Practice Michael Moore-ism and build on an existing story. Find something people are talking about and the media has its eye on, and then create your own unique angle.* Let reporters find you. Rather than spamming a thousand television producers, start an online buzz and then include your name and number all over the Web.* Make your pitch short, sweet, obvious, and controversial.* If you're on the radio or television, you can't curse (unless it's HBO), but you can say just about anything else. Be opinionated and stick to your opinions if you want to be invited back on the shows.* Before there was the well-advertised brand of beer, Sam Adams was a founding father and America's publicity pioneer! The Boston Tea Party was the ultimate publicity event, and you too will learn how to get gossip-mongers chatting about your expertly planned event.* Don't underestimate the power of the absurd. Robert John Burck, better known as the Naked Cowboy, took the concept of street entertainment one step further than your average musician. He's appeared in a Super Bowl commercial, is recording his own album, and has is [sic] own brand of mobile ring tones downloadable for $1.99 each. How to Be a Publicity Whore brings a fresh new-media approach to the traditional marketing and PR handbook. I'm sure you'll be fascinated by David's media savvy and absolutely riotous examples. I'll be scheduling phone and in-person meetings for David next week and I look forward to hearing from you! All the best,[Redacted]
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