Thread: Why is my girlfriend friends with her ex, a person she was never friends with

before they met? My Girlfriend and I have been seeing eachother for 6 months , and things are going great . We had the whole history of partners discussion and she divulged she has had two sexual partners sleeping with those guys two times, and four times respectively. Her most recent ex she at work through a friend and they went on a few dates. This guy was comming out of a four year relationship and she realised what a cock head (her words!) he was. She broke up with him as he was self-obsessed and a compulsive liar, and never took her out. She broke up with him after 4 months together and they still speek to this day, going on private "dog walks" every once a month. My girlfriend loves me i know she does, but i dont understand the need to see an ex like that which she never was friends with before hand, im wondeing why now friends?. I want my girl to be friends with who she likes, but its hard for me... am i being clingy? anyone got any suggestions or being in a similar position? thanks

They say if you can be friends with an ex you were never in love with that person in the first place... or maybe you still are!
Im not sure how much truth is in that statement though, because I am good friends with an ex, and we were in love - infact we lived together for two years.
The relationship fizzled out, and we we're nothing more than friends in the end, so it seemed silly to cut each other out. It was hard at first to be friends, and it caused problems in a relationship I had after. My then boyfriend was uncomfortable with the fact I was friends with my ex, and somewhat threatened. So I tried to help him come to terms with it inviting the ex, and his girlfriend out with a group of friends so my boyfriend could meet him in a relaxed enviroment. For him to be ok with the friendship meant a little give and take, and comprimise. I could understand that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would feel uncomfortable too, so it was important that we talked opnly about it, rather than me saying 'I can see who I like' or whatever.
There is a few differences here though -
Your girlfriends relationship with her ex, doesnt sound like it ended amicably - the guy was a liar and self obsessed in her words. So one wonders why she feels the need to have this guy in her life. What does she get out the relationship? Does she feel that it is he that needs a friend, is she trying to help him?
I think the bottom line is you need to talk to your girlfriend about this. Choose your words carefully - you want her to be friends with who she likes, and you would never stop her from seeing someone, but she needs to understand things from your point of view. The relationship makes you feel uncomfortable. You can't understand why she wants to be friends with someone who she felt was a negative in her life. Don't accuse her of anything, just talk about how you feel and what yu could do togther to ease your mind. Could you all go out together so you can meet him too?
Hope you work it out - L