|
Are you laughing at these yet?
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
------
Blonde and fish
A lady saw a blonde crouching by the water and asked her what she was holding. The blonde told her it was a fish. "Why are you holding that fish." asked the lady. "I thought it was drowning replied the blonde."
------
Arnold Swartzeneger and Sylvester Stallone are making amovie about the lives of the great composers. Stallone says "I want to be Mozart." Swartzeneger says: "In that case... I'll be Bach."
--
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? Neither has he.
--
A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."
-----
..
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.""All right. How long do you need them?"The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."After a while, the customer returned to the office and said,"A long time. We're gonna build a house."
|
Linear Mode
