Cool H

A young man in the Old Wild West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. He practiced every day, but knew he was still missing something that would make him the best.

One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. So the young fella went over to the old man and told him his dream.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."

"Tell me, tell me," said the young man.

"Tie the bottom of your holster lower down on your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"Definitely," said the old man.

The young gunman did what he was told, then in a flash he drew his gun and shot the bow-tie off the piano player.

"Wow, that really helped! Do you have any more suggestions?"

"Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"It sure will," said the old man.

The young guy did what he was told, drew his gun in a blur and shot a cuff-link off the piano player.

"This is really helping me. Is there anything else you can share with me?"

"One more thing," said the old man, "Get that can of axle grease over there in the corner and rub it all over your gun."

The young man didn't hesitate and started putting the grease on the barrel of the gun.

"No, not just the barrel, the whole gun, handle and everything," said the old man.

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"No," said the old man!"

"But, when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that piano, he's going to shove that gun right up your as*, and it won't hurt so much!"