It was on Cops or some show like it. I turned it on in the middle of the show and heard the voice-over talking about how they were in hot pursuit of a "dangerous runaway." Police cars cutting up the highway. A helicopter camera pans up to reveal the subject. It's a freakin' cow bookin' it down the highway. It's running between cars and dodging them. The voice-over announces that a police blockade has been set up a mile ahead, where cars are slowing, halting, or getting the hell out of the way of what's approaching in their rear-view mirrors. The cow does the most brilliant and unpredictable thing at this point, just before reaching the blockade...he takes the exit! Most were going too fast and missed it, but a few of the cops on bikes made it behind him. (I had to double-check to make sure at this point that I was indeed watching a real cop show about catching criminals). The two or three cops, after some winding around, finally caught up with and cornered the runaway cow. Guess where? IN THE PARKING LOT OF A HAMBURGER RESTAURANT. The segment ended with some "food for thought" about poetic justice in the end. I wish to God I could find that clip!
Of your list, Yes I've been telling people about it for at least five years now; and I did indeed spill hot coffee in my lap and in my roommate's.
(I've made someone laugh so hard they've peed before, but I can't claim to have done it with this story)
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