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Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 30
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More funny jokes for you....?
One day, 3 men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor.
After a while, the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, are you here?"
"Yes doctor, im right here," he said anxiously.
"Great news," explained the doctor, "Twins!"
"Wow, thats great, because I work for the DoubleMint company."
About 5 minuter later, the doctor came out and yelled, "Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, are you hear?"
"I'm right year Doc," he said.
"Mr. Jones, great news, triplets!"
"Spectacular!" he said. "Because I work for 3M."
A while later, the doctor came out again and said, "Mr. Ford, Mr. Ford, are you here?"
"Right here docta," he said.
"Wonderful news! It's-"
"Wait a minute!" the man said. "I ain't stickin' around for this! I work at the 7-11."
2.) A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in…
P…..
E…..
N…..
I…..
S…..
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
PASSWORD DENIED - NOT LONG ENOUGH
3.) A blonde walks into a bar and orders 18 beers.
“Why so many?” asked the bartender.
“Can’t you read the sign?” replied the blonde, “It says ‘no one served under 18.’”
4.) Two life long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other:
"If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" said the intriguied the first fellow.
"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy around here who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"
5.)
As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a blonde lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?"
"Just snow" replied the stewardess.
"That's what I thought," said the blonde lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece!!"
6.) A doctor and a lawyer were at a wealthy persons cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his awkward ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for the advice and add a bit more for the inconvenience." replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer
7.)
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all follow!"
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