Jokes for the women on Y!A?

Blondmusic · 11-20-2008, 04:08 PM

I apologise in advance to any men who read this and find it insulting.

1. What's the difference between a stupid man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

2. What's the difference whales and stupid men?
Whales mate for life.

3. What's the difference between a stupid man and yoghurt?
Yoghurt has culture.

4. Why don't stupid men mind their own business?
No mind.

5. How are stupid men like commercials?
You can't believe a word either 1 says & they both last about 60 seconds.

6. Why did the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.

7. Why did the stupid man pour beer into his waterbed?
He wanted a foam mattress

8. What did the experts of the 90's discover that could do the work of 10 men?
One woman.

9. What do stupid men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.

10. Why are stupid men both like laxatives?
They both irritate the sh*t out of you.

11. How are stupid men like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either of them.

12. What do stupid men and decaff coffee have in common?
No active ingredients.

13. How many stupid men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one. They will screw anything.

14. How many stupid men does it take to change a lightbulb?
10. 1 to change the bulb and the other 9 to congratulate him down the pub.

15. Why do stupid men name their p*nises?
Because they want to be on first name turms with the person who makes 95% of their decisions.

16. What is a stupid man's idea of commitment?
A second date.

17. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump womens legs at cocktail parties.

18. Why did the stupid man buy a new car?
He couldn't keep up the payments on the old 1.

19. Did you hear about the stupid man who walked into a shop selling telephones?
He bought a cordless phone for every room in the house.

20. How do you make a stupid man exercise?
Hide the Tv's remote control

21. What is a stupid man's idea of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.

22. What does a stupid man think foreplay is?
Something you do on a golf course.

23. What's the difference between a stupid man and a yeti?
One is covered with matted hair and stinks. The other lives on the top of a mountain.

24. Why are stupid men like ghosts?
They have to been seen to be believed.

25. Why are stupid men happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.

26. Why do stupid men write 'T.G.I.F' on their shoes?
To remind them that Toes Go In First.

27. What do you call a stupid man that uses the Rhythm Method?
Dad.

28. How did the stupid man die drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.

29. Why don't stupid men's dogs do tricks?
You have to be more intelligent than a dog to teach it tricks.

30. Why do stupid men drive BMW's?
Because they can spell it.

31. How are stupid men like carpet tiles?
If you lay them properly the first time you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

32. What's the useless piece of skin attached to the male member.
A man.

33. What does a stupid man say when he proposes marriage?
You're going to have a what?

34. How do you make a stupid man's eyes twinkle?
Shine a torch in his ear.

35. Did you hear about the stupid man who died at the height of passion?
He came and went at the same time.

Again sorry to the men but i have just split up with my bf and telling these jokes makes me feel better.