Ringa Starr

Jokes Involving Bars
So a duck walks into a bar, orders a sandwich and a beer, reads a chapter of a book, he acts as a typical customer.
The bartender asks, "What are you doing here?"
The duck says, "They're working on a building across the street. I'm on break."
This goes on for a few days, until the bartender gets sick of it.
The next day, the duck orders a sandwich and a beer, as usual. The bartender takes his order, and then says, "Guess what? I called the circus, and they said they'd love for you to be in their show." The duck is really confused. "But...who would want to watch a plumber?"
A man goes to a bar in San Francisco. He sits there, watching the news on the TV. A guy is threatening to jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. "I bet you 100 dollars he isn't going to jump." he says to the bartender. The bartender agrees to the bet. Just a few seconds after he puts the money down, the guy jumps. "I don't want your money," he says, "I saw it earlier." "I did too but I didn't know he was gonna do it again!" the man says.

Relationship Jokes












Animal Jokes
Two girls named Maddie and Amy got two horses that looked exactly the same. One day, Maddie got so sick of it, she gave her horse a tattoo. The next day, Amy's horse had the exact same one.
Amy branded her horse, and next morning Maddie's was branded too.
Then, Maddie just shaved hers, and the next morning, Amy's was shaved too.
So, they decided to go see a professional. They had the horses weighed and measured, and it turned out that the white horse was taller than the black one. :P