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Yo Mama's so dumb that:
She tried to drown a goldfish!
She tripped over a cordless phone!
When I told her Christmas was just around the corner, she went out looking for it!
She called me to get her phone number!
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate!
She put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind!
She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order!
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it!
She thought a quarterback was a refund!
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
She asked for a price check at the dollar store!
She studied for a blood test!
She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats!
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the house, she moved away!
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice!
When she was driving to the airport and saw a sign that said airport left, she drove home!
It took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!
When she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends!
When your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon!
She sold her car for gasoline money!
She bought a solar-powered flashlight!
When she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."!
She stole free bread!
She took a spoon to the superbowl!
She sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
She jumped out the window and went up!
She watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes!
Yo Mama's so fat that:
When she walked in front of the TV, we missed 3 episodes!
When she jumped into the pool, she caused as tsunami!
We had to take her picture from aerial view!
Someone named her a new island!
When they used her underwear elastic to bunjee jump off of the grand canyon, they hit the bottom!
She eats Wheat Thicks!
People jog around her for exercise!
She went to the movies and sat next to everyone!
When you get on top of her your ears pop!
When she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
She goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "Yes!"!
When she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"!
She had to iron her pants on the driveway!
She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
When she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th!
When she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge, too!
When she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
When she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"!
She fell in love and broke it!
She's got her own area code!
She looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
When she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...!
Even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!
When she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
When she lies on the beach, she's the only one who gets a tan!
When she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
She's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
She's on both sides of the family!
The animals at the zoo feed her!
Yo Mama's so ugly that:
She made an onion cry!
When the doctor was supposed to slap her but, he slapped her face instead!
When she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
She looks out the window and gets arrested for mooning!
They didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars!
When she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras!
Her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her!
When she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"
She turned Medusa to stone!
People go as her for Halloween!
She doesn't need a costume for Halloween!
Your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!
Yo Mama's so poor:
When I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."!
She can't afford to pay attention!
Your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk!
She waves around a Popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!
Yo Mama's so old:
I told her to act her own age, and she died!
Her social security number is 1!
When she was in school there was no history class!
She has a picture of Moses in her yearbook!
Her birth certificate says expired on it!
She knew Burger King while he was still a prince!
She was a waitress at the Last Supper!
She ran track with dinosaurs!
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