People are always telling me, "things will get better". That's crap. Ever since I was born my life has kept on getting worst. Grade 7 was the first year I started harming myself for failing school (yes I had a tutor, yes I gave up a VERY large portion of my life to bring my marks, yes I studied). Then EVERYONE told me that high school was going to be fun. Grade 9 came and I first started therapy. Then Grade 10 came and I was first diagnosed with clinical depression. Grade 11 has come and I was hospitalized for suicide prevention. I hate my life so much. I am either at school failing or at home with people trying to kill each other. I hate who I am so even being alone is awful. Why is my life always getting worse and how can I make it better without medication (yes I do have anti-depression medication)? To be honest, if my life doesn't improve within the next year or two, I am bailing out.

plus im at danger of repeating the grade this year idk what to do anymore.