I feel so weird to be asking the opinions of strangers on the internet what to do with my life but despite having friends and family around I feel like I have no-one to talk to. I'll start from the begging, Ive been having a really difficult year last year and its running over into this one Im constantly argueing with my boyfriend. It all started when I would fly into fits of rage when Id been drinking about nothing it all and Id hit and swear at him and hurt myself by banging my head into walls cutting myself or taking overdoses. Ive been in out of hospital a few times for this and been on a couple od diffrent medications but nothing seems to work. I hate myself for being like and dont know what to do, although this episodes were only once a month or so to start with they are getting more and more regular and even when I havent been drinking I find it impossible to control my emotions and get angry at the slightest thing. I hate being like this and am still on waiting lists for councelling, the problems are spilling over into the rest of my life as Im way way behind at uni and its making me very depressed. My sleeping patterns are all over the place as is my drinking and most days I cant get out of bed. Every day I wake up life just seems a little less worth it, I drink to feel better but it usually ends in tears. Im stuck away from my family and old friends and I dont feel confident enough to talk to people without the aid of alcohol. Ive never felt more alone and this probably sounds like Im some selfish self indulgent bitch and maybe I am but I just dont know how to break the cycle, please help if you can.