I am just so irritable and restless all the time. I get really impatient when I'm frustrated to the point of trying to tear my heart out. I get good grades typically, but I have to work so hard just to try and study... and when I study, conditions need to be perfect: it has to be pin-drop quiet, and no one else has to be in the house, the temperature has to be the same each time. I don't do anything productive unless I'm really, really motivated to do it, and I don't easily find motivation.

I know something is wrong ... I'm just not normal. Other kids can study in the union, withall that noise, or with music, or in the presence of other people. They seem to be ok with studying all the time and somehow find the motivation, and I just can't. I get better grades than them, cos' I go to great lengths to find the motivation I need to study, and once I start studying , I have to complete it, and work hard to complete it cos I know I won't finish otherwise.

I'm really careless. If make the silliest mistakes during tests, things I of all people should know. And then I get so frustrated that I made that mistake that I just get so unmotivated and resort to listening to music on the internet.

I'm always in my own little dream world, though I badly want good grades and just to be motivated in general.


What's wrong with me????
I meant "trying to tear my HAIR out" , not "heart".