past trust-issues? In my last serious past relationship I had co-signed credit cards with my boyfriend of the time and we had joint bank accounts/savings as well. I was naive and young, and towards the end of the relationship, he claimed bankruptcy and never told me and he owed almost 1,000 to the bank as well. I ended up being accountable for thousands of dollars and creditors harassing me, and all of this of I am just now almost done paying almost 5 years later. To top it off, around that time I found long, black hairs in our shower when my hair was short and red and it made me feel even more betrayed.

Now I am with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years. I am 7 months pregnant. We split our expenses, and he has never done me wrong with money. and infact pays my medical insurance and we help each other out, But recently, I'd say over the last year I keep getting these intense feelings of mistrust, and we have been having rocky times...I always feel like he is betraying me, or will and is using me or planning to use me in the end. I can not stop feeling this way and slowly I am starting to resent him for things I dont even know are true and hate him for things that he may do.... For example- I feel like since we are not married yet he will just walk out on me, and I feel like he will take the car that I help pay for (which the loan is in his name.) I always think that he will or is cheating on me although I can't prove anything. I have this idea that I he just keeps me around because I like to cook, clean, and cater to his wants and needs as much as I can. I always feel like he will just do me wrong and anytime he goes out or leaves I just think he is up to no good. I get anxiety over it and well up with anger so strongly that sometimes it is hard to repress.

I know I am not making things easier and I am pushing him away with my paranoia, but I can't make it stop. I want to know what I can do to let go and learn to trust him and build my self esteem. I have gone to counceling, as we both have and I can no longer afford it. I don't feel like it really helped at all either.