i'm fifteen, and confused.
right now, i'm feeling extremely irritable. i feel like cussing, but i can't because it will get turned into little asterisks. that makes me even more angry and sad at the same time. it's just stupid little stars; why am i like this?!
sometimes i'm real depressed. i cut myself, and wish for death constantly. i'll be upset all the time around my boyfriend, "q", (i don't know how he puts up with me) and that makes him angry and he gives me lectures on how i need to be optimistic more. he just doesn't understand! but i can't tell him anything, because he always has a backup and i realize he's right, and i try to be optimistic for him. later after he would give me lectures, i would cut myself.
when i'm hyper, nobody can slow me down. i think that's called "manic", right? well, "q" always tells me to calm down, which i can't, of course.
i just want to be normal, and i don't want my boyfriend to suffer anymore.
he always says that i'm happy when he's upset, and i'm upset when he's happy. it makes me angry when he says that, so i get really irritable, and i cut myself.
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