I had a horrible childhood. Due to selective mutism and eventually avoidant personality disorder (which I had never heard about until recently) I never made any friends. I wasn't bullied or anything, I was just not included. I tried moving to a different school several times so I could "start fresh," but every time I just wasn't able to make myself likeable and so went back to my mute self. Now I'm 25 and I'm doing fine, but I feel like I've been cheated out of my childhood. I keep picturing the people I wanted to be friends with and the things I could've done with them. I looked them up on Google and found their Facebook, and I wanted to say hi except for I never really talked to them and it just seems REALLY pathetic.
Lately this have been bothering me more than usual and I can't stop crying over it. I guess I just think IF only I (and a few other people) knew about my conditions and tried to fix me sooner I'd turn out fine. But now I'm 25 and it's just too late to do the things I've always wanted to do.
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