Hey on the 19th March 2009 a very bad thing happened. Me and my supposed friend we're not really the bestest of friends but like he came over my house and like we were playing this game and then all of a sudden starts touching my penis. He then said if he could suck it and said it was experimental and stuff and then In that moment of time I wasnt thinkin so he did it and after I knew it was a huge mistake. I'm not gay and he said hes not either. I'm totally not attracted to him and I feel very depressed by what has happened. We agreed not to tell anyone coz we dont want to anyway so thats fine but like It feels like its ruined mylife like one of my first experiences because it was the first time anyone had sucked it b4 and its just in myhead I have eventhought about commiting suicide! Ive cryed nights coz my life was near enough perfect coz this is such a huge thing to mess with mymind everyday is a stuggle coz its just the same thing over and over being depressed thinking thatill think about this for the rest of my life. Im at the point where I have lost hope. Could anyone help me just to live thatlittle bit longer. Thanks I really do love u if u help me.
Additional Details
we're 16...
It has happend twice once on the 19th n once on the 31st I feel so ashamed I never wana do it again.

It's going to be kept secret and I also said that I never want this to happen again on the 31st when it happened I can't believe I let it happen. But I said enoughs enough. I'm not gay!!!
First time w/ him was on the 19th and the second time was on the 31st both in March 09. Worst month of my life. I said thats it never again and he agreed. I wana put this behind me.