How to get through the hard times in hopes for the future?

[blowjoe1983]

Hi, I am a 25 year female who has been in a long distance relationship for 6.5 years. I met my boyfriend when I was 19 and he was 18, the summer after my freshman year of college. He had recently moved to my home town in Louisiana in hopes to get to know his father and his father's side of the family. I was home for the summer. We hit it off, feel in love very quickly, and have been inseparable ever since. After that summer, I went back to college (~ 1 hour away from my hometown) and he remained in my home town. This was long distance for us because neither one of us had a car at the time. Since we met, I have been without him for 3 months while he went to basic training. He's been away for a few months in preps to go to Iraq (which he actually got out of the National Guard and luckily didn't have to go). I've watch him move back home to Texas since things weren't going the best for him in my hometown; at the exact same time that I was moving back home to go to Med School in my hometown. I have visited him in Texas numerous amounts of times and he has come to Louisiana many times too. He even tried to move back to Lousiana and he stayed with me for about 6 months but he returned to Texas because us living together didn't work out since he could't get a stable enough job in time to support himself. We have been struggling to end this distance for so long and at this point, I'M SO TIRED OF IT!!!! So I decided that when I finished Med School I would try to move to Texas where he is, I even visited there for 2 straight months to get in good with the hospital that I planned to train at. And then suddenly things change, he looses his job and then has to move ~2 hours away to a small military town with his cousin in order to reestablish himself and get back on his feet. It seems that as soon as we try to be together something changes and we can't. I love him dearly and we both want to marry each other but it seems that things always change so suddenly and things don't stay right long enough. So now he is in a small military town with a new job and getting his new place and I am unsure of where I will be next year since I have to Match into a residency training program and won't find out until March. The closest I could be to him is 2 hours and the farthest I would be is MS. I could go to a program in Houston and he states that he could get transferred to the same company in Houston. But, I'm afraid that if I move to Houston things won't go right and he won't be able to move where I am. Us being together has been a struggle and we cherish the times that we do have together and are always hopeful for what we want in the future (even thought currently it seems that things are the best). I just want advice from anybody who has struggled to overcome adversity to be with someone you really love even when things seem impossible. Thanks.

In response to LoveBug, he hasn't been running away from me. Because each time he had to leave was because it would be better for his situation. And each time he had to move it was because he was with a place to live and was doing what was best for him. And we have been committed for 6.5 years, the commitment is definitely there. I feel damn near already married. 6.5 years and we have been the only people we've seen. However, I care about him and what is best for him and don't want to be selfish and make things revolve around me. I feel it is best for him to get himself fully established. Because in the end if I'm not there he will have to take care of himself.

[dove]

Blow,

Just how happy does he make you when you guys ARE together? Are you okay with never marrying and just having what you have now? If so, then proceed as you are.

If not, you need to consider taking a break from this relationship to see what else is out there. I wouldn't normally say this but your guy does not seem in the least stable. Is it really all situational or is it the guy? Maybe you should "separate" long enough for him to get his act together.

Until you can really count on him it would be unwise to try to make plans to be near where you think/ hope he will be. Choose a hospital in your ideal locale so that if things don't work out with him at least you will be happy in your environment. It sounds like you have a future. I'm not so sure about him. If he wants to be with you, he will find a way no matter where you are.