I am such a wreck and just need to vent...?

[RegulahFrankieFan]

Ok so I'm extremely depressed and now I'm even losing my friends. Ok it started out small, I say without thinking alot and sometimes I accidently say I've seen a movie or something when I havent. I dont mean to do it but it slips out!! also I'll say I hate/like something I dont really have an opinion on, its like whatever, but later one of those subjects will come up again and then I'll have lied and I feel awful I don't want to lie!!! MEanwhile, I am getting bullied in school by boys and they are so cruel and mean and I always cry to my parents and ask for a nose job every day and now im even verbally abusing my mom because I feel like its her fault for having me/not getting me a nose job. Being "ugly" is kind of like my crutch I guess I blame everything on it. I feel horrible and I feel like my friends are getting annoyed with my constant lying. It's never about anything big just stupid small things like movies. Would you ever forgive someone like this? I realize I am totally shallow and self-adsorbed and I feel like a bad person for being so concerned about my looks.

oh, and I meant when the subject that I have no opinion on will come up and I'll say the opposite of my "opinion" on it before cuz I forgot and I'll have obviously lied

[PeacefulWarrior]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWbGCh7u0x4&feature=related