I am 23 y/o and I have had trich for 10 years?

have had trich since I was in 6th grade. So I have had it for about 10 years. I have had some stretches where I have held off and not done it for a couple months. However, I had a really bad episode last night and now I have huge, multiple bald spots. I can't stop doing this! This is ruining my life. I have no self confidence because I look like an idiot. My hair is all uneven, and I have bald spots all over the place. I hate myself for not being able to control this. Have you known anybody with this condition? How can I stop doing this? How should I move past what happened this last episode and keep moving forward?