Ok i was molested as a child at age 8-9 by my brother my first bf and a friend of my brother's and i also have a vivid memory of me

myself and my first boyfriend having a threesome,but i can't remember how it happened.These memorie's have become stronger over the year's i have grown and i wan't to know how i can overcome the intense memorie's and pain.It's wrecking my relationship and my life.I have a son and i dont want the same thing happening to him.Ive also told the father of my child about it.Sometime's i have dream's about my bf and my sister having sex,if anyone else has fallen victim to molestation please help.It's unbareable and i am finding it really hard to open up or even seek help from psychiatrist's and counsellor's.I haven't opened my mouth and told my parent's because at the time i was very young and didnt know what i was doing.I am also scared to tell my parent's.that i dont want my parents,my sis and bro getting hurt in the process